darkemeralds: Photo of an empty room with caption "Imagine an Empty Room" (Empty Room)
[personal profile] darkemeralds
I quit making New Year's resolutions a lot of New Years ago--total recipe for failure, in my book--but given that this January 1 will also be the first day of the rest of my life in a more particular way than every other day of the world, I'm giving it some thought.

The thing that has given my life its structure more or less continuously since 1970 is suddenly going to drop away. My external motivation for getting up in the morning, grooming myself, wearing decent clothes, leaving my house, and (in recent years) getting exercise will be no more.

I don't yet have a clue what will replace it. In my limited experience of unemployment, the lack of structure is not my best friend. But the key word is "limited." Will a month of do-nothing nightowl-dom be enough for a more natural structure to start appearing? Two months? How could I know? I've never tried it.

What's more, the fact of having a job has been one of a very few connections I feel to "most people," a broad if rather shallow patch of common ground. Google Plus keeps reminding me to list my workplace in my profile, because without it, I'm only 80% complete.

So, what new scaffolding will I build to keep my life from dissolving into a puddle of undifferentiated time?

I have no idea yet. I should probably be terrified. Maybe I am terrified and I just don't know it. How does one feel at an event horizon?

Date: 2013-12-29 03:03 am (UTC)
sasha_feather: Retro-style poster of skier on pluto.   (Default)
From: [personal profile] sasha_feather
I am confident that you will find things! I look forward to reading about your new adventures.

Date: 2013-12-29 04:06 am (UTC)
lycomingst: (Default)
From: [personal profile] lycomingst
I'm sure you'll adjust. Just not being a slave to the clock will not doubt be nice. You might take a class through your Park and Rec department. They're usually cheap and will give you a little structure.

Date: 2013-12-29 08:58 am (UTC)
azurelunatic: Azz and best friend grabbing each other's noses.  (Default)
From: [personal profile] azurelunatic
Best wishes!

When I was recently unemployed, I wound up going to a fair number of local meetups via meetup.com -- some were better than others, but most were at least interesting. I think the most resonant social connection that came out of that was the guy with the dog with various vision problems, who turned out to have been an old friend of one of my other local friends, which I learned after retweeting him and accidentally becoming the instrument of their reconnection.

Date: 2013-12-29 04:30 pm (UTC)
ranunculus: (Default)
From: [personal profile] ranunculus
I think you will do fine.
Here are some suggestions that come to my mind.
Volunteer. Do it in a field that isn't like your old job.
Help gardeners in local parks.
Walk the dogs or socialize the kitties at a local shelter.
Help with a Habitat for Humanity house.
There are no end of things you could do for a day, week or the rest of your life. At any one of them you will meet new people and have a reason to interact with them.
BTW, I used to wear a ring to remind me to make the effort to actually talk with other people, and to notice and accept offers to "go out for coffee or food". Those offers were there, I was just not "seeing" them. Since I NEVER wear jewelry it was an effective tool to raise my awareness of being social.

Date: 2013-12-29 06:03 pm (UTC)
ranunculus: (Default)
From: [personal profile] ranunculus
I had to -MAKE- myself accept invitations. Still do to some extent. In general the results were pleasant, and sometimes even really nice. I always kept clearly in mind that my fall back social action was to ask questions of whomever I was with, on the basis that people always like to talk about themselves. Works too.
The making eye contact thing is a challenge too. Some days it is easy, other days not so much. :)

Date: 2013-12-29 06:05 pm (UTC)
ranunculus: (Default)
From: [personal profile] ranunculus
Oh, and I agree about the self isolating thing. Aaargh.

Date: 2013-12-29 06:38 pm (UTC)
toft: Screenshot of the tomato roses created by Hannibal Lecter. (Default)
From: [personal profile] toft
I'm very excited to see how your new life develops!

Date: 2013-12-29 11:30 pm (UTC)
chordatesrock: TP Link riding Epona, sword drawn (Default)
From: [personal profile] chordatesrock
I'd try taking a class. If church is your thing, that's also a possibility.

Although it doesn't provide any particular structure in the sense of a daily or weekly routine, writing or crafting could work as a reason to get up in the morning.

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