And in the Aw, What The Hell category...

[darkemeralds]

Not long ago, I challenged ravurian to get a photograph of himself at his most fabulous, and I said I would do the same. While we wait for Mr. R...






I don't know whether this is the most flattering picture, but I liked it the best of all the ten zillion I took trying to get something I could bear. I think it speaks the most truth about me.

Honestly, I wouldn't have posted these three weeks ago. Things are converging, and I'm growing down into my real, actual, 55-year-old self, so I figure I might as well show my face around here.

Comments

[communicator]

emerald, you look lovely. I have hair the same colour and I like it.

[darkemeralds]

Do you? Lucky us, huh? \o/

[ruric]

Heh - me too. If my silver was that cool I'd abandon the henna like a shot. Alas I'm all brown and grey and white and it is not at all lovely. *pout* *G*

[ruric]

You look amazing!

Like others I'm envious of your fabulous silver hair - the last time I saw my natural hair colour was nine years ago in the post cancer treatment growing out phase (befoet hat it was whwn I was 14!) It came back as salt-and-pepper-grey tight ringlets (after the initial regrowth which ravurian referred to as my "butch skinhead" phase) and had me reaching immediately for the henna. *G* Once it was coloured again the ringlets rocked, alas they went with time. if I was silver I'd stop colouring like a shot but I'm not there yet and doubt I'll ever have such a great colour. (I keep letting the root grow out a bit and peering at it in hope but defintiely not there yet).

Also considering those two pics and your gorgeous smile I find it difficult to believe that you're not one of the naturally photogenic *G* but I'll take your word for it!

[executrix]

It's a pleasure to see you again, especially looking happy and, even better, content.

[runcible_spoons]

You are lovely. And now I have a lovely lovely face to put with my Restraint memories. Thank you for your strength and courage.

[altariel]

Hey lovely! That huge smile! :-D

[ranunculus]

Very nice pictures indeed.
I'm struck by the fact that your face has changed, even since we met, to reflects your changing person. It has become more defined, and your skin is lovely. As for the hair, I've always loved grey hair (yes I use English spellings...). Silver hair as well, but for me there is something just plain nice and down to earth about it.

Keep up those Zumba sessions, clearly they are really good for you!

[karen_jk]

...only your real self is more beautiful.

You are John. You really, really are.

[darkemeralds]

Busted.

LOL! I did put a lot of myself into John. But the lifetime of being praised and misconstrued and troubled because of physical beauty--that's pretty much pure Jensen. I'm more Meg, the twin sister with a physicality a bit too aggressively...big to have qualified in the beauty rankings.

Ack! If I start psychologizing myself based on Restraint there will be no secrets left!

[darkemeralds]

kispexi2, upon first meeting me, said, "You have American teeth." :D

My icon shows an earlier version of roughly the same smile.

[darkemeralds]

That's very encouraging, because I haven't actually lost any significant amount of weight (on the scale) since we met. I think perhaps the skin that got loosened in the initial weight loss has begun to tighten up a bit.

I've been happy with my gray hair for the most part. Except when someone mistakes me for my sister's mother. Grrr. She's two years younger than me. Not a gray hair on her head.

[darkemeralds]

Thank you. It's a bit daunting to have a novel out there and to know that readers imagine its author as one thing or another, but probably not as just a middle-aged American woman. I completely understand why published authors often spend so much money on good photos for their book jackets.

[darkemeralds]

*waves*

[darkemeralds]

I've known several people whose hair type changed completely after chemo, and one (my mother) whose hair changed completely after pregnancy. My mom's became curly and stayed that way. What a shame your ringlets didn't last! I've always liked super-curly hair (though its possessors tend not to like it quite as well).

Seriously, these two were the pick of almost 50 shots I took. The rest were UG-LEE.

[runcible_spoons]

I understand. I have long been disabused of the notion that I have any idea what authors look like in fandom. Or even how they are upon meeting. What ever my imaginings, I'm delighted to have your face in my mind and connected to that astonishing piece of work.

You are amazing and an inspiration to me and I thank you.

Also, you make me pine for Portlandia! I'm growing tired of the pace and lack of connection in the Land of Angels and I miss Powell's. So, thank you on several fronts.

[darkemeralds]

Let me know if you ever come for a visit. I would love to meet you.

[runcible_spoons]

And I would love to meet you.

I was just re-reading that essay written after the end of Restraint about AU's and RPF's and it occurred to me that while I would LOVE to see this as a film or mini-series, I think the comments are right, your novel would never survive the creation process.

But. But. I wanted you to know that the writing was so evocative, that I feel as though I have watched the mini-series. I feel the imagery and when I close my eyes, I can see Tristan in the flower of his manhood, just coming out into the garden at Ravensworth, smiling his unguarded smile at John. And John, returning it with just a bit or reserve and still, after the slow, honeyed weeks of summer, that blush on his cheeks of modesty.

I have been to England and to a number of those crumbled, older estates and I can feel the lush green of the English Summer, the thick aroma of roses and lavender that hangs in the air. That solid unchanging mass of stone and old glass that makes up the older manor houses. It's just a tiny stretch for me to place John in those gardens. To have Tristan swing down from his horse and breathlessly call across the garden wall.

So you see, you've done a remarkable job of making this happen for all of us readers. How you have affected me, how deeply I was moved by Restraint, is difficult for me to textually render. I keep saying thank you because that is our culturally approved way of showing gratitude. But what I feel is deeper and more turbulent than mere gratitude. Restraint changed me.

And that is a rare gift.

I apologize for my lengthy reply. You are a remarkable human being.

[karen_jk]

It's more something in your expression, not that you have to be as drop-dead gorgeous as John. It's the combination of animation and creativity with a kind of spiritual refinement.

[kis]

Fabulous indeed! :D

[darkemeralds]

One sees only one's flaws. I woke up this morning thinking OMG WTF have I done, posting photos of myself online?? LOL! Well, at least they aren't of some senator's crotch.

[kis]

Hee! Nominative determinism in action!

[darkemeralds]

The comedians have been having a field day with it.

[tehomet]

Lovely photos! You look beautiful. Your Bambi eyes and killer cheekbones will serve you well; you'll still look amazing when you're 110.

[ranunculus]

Your sister isn't playing fair at all! Giving you all the early grey hair. Grrr indeed.

I suspect you might be gaining some nice heavy muscle during this pause in weight loss. Just a thought.