How do you make a hormone?

[darkemeralds]

Hormones. Can't live without 'em, but look at this: getting 'em back reawakens the bitch within.


My good pal Gayle, who is nine years my senior and has been a kind of trailblazer of aging ever since we were in college together, reporting back to me what I might expect on the road ahead and avidly researching the latest developments in staving it off, had one word for me the other day when I reported my weird brain-fog condition to her: Bioidenticals.

Gayle says that bioidentical hormone replacement therapy has given her back her mental acuity, her short-term memory, and her sense of being present in the moment--everything that I suddenly felt I was missing last week. Her Jar of Youth has become her number one desert island item, for the regular procurement of which she would sacrifice even her internet connection (though thank goodness that's not necessary since this isn't an expensive prescription drug).

So on her advice I made an appointment with a naturopath, and in the meantime started using an over-the-counter (well, over-the-internet) cream containing some standardized blend of progesterone and adrenal support targeted generally to women in my age category.

And holy bitchcakes, Batman! Three things happened within 24 hours: almost complete relief from hot flashes (OMG if you don't have them, you can't know how much this means), a marked return of mental focus and acuity, and...

...me becoming a terrible bitch again.

Okay, I exaggerate. But my tolerance for stupid has just about bottomed out. I'm annoyed and irritated. I spoke sharply to my supervisor, who is emphatically not stupid, and completely failed to get my meaning across to her, so that we had one of those parallel-track conversations that drive me fucking up the wall.

But here's the thing: I could tell exactly what was wrong. It took me seconds, rather than days, to figure out where the communication failed, why I was so irritated, and what I ought to say to her next (after, you know, apologizing).

This evidence that I really was a smart bitch when I was younger is strangely exhilarating. Now to attack the problem of retaining the smartness from youth-hormones and the tranquility and wisdom of age.

I think I'll call it Project Crystalline Pool. Heh. Or not.

Comments

[writerscramp]

Hee! Well at least you can say that your bitchiness is a biological imperative.

They were just talking about bioidenticals today on Fresh Air. I wasn't listening closely but I distinctly remember hearing a snippet of the conversation about it. Sounds like you've got some good and promising options to what must've been a very scary unknown before. Glad that even the interim measures have had a noticeable effect. Thanks so much for sharing this kind of info; I realize it's a ways yet for me, but, it's the sooner we get good and trusted information, the better to dispel all the myths and misinformation that inundates a woman simply because Western medicine is so unbalanced in its understanding of women's bodies.

[darkemeralds]

Between the medical world's sad propensity to disregard women while monetizing women's concerns, and the rest of the world's efforts to fan the flames of those concerns into raging fires--especially when it comes to aging--it's a wonder anyone gets any help at all! As my sister (the former RN) likes to say to her doctors, "I went to medical school over the weekend and here's what I now know about [X-Y-Z procedure or prescription being advised]."

When I first looked into bioidenticals a couple of years ago, I made the mistake of calling an anti-aging clinic. They were so full of mumbo-jumbo and tests and long commitments and no-insurance-accepted that I ran away. As I recall, $1600 was the non-reimbursable price of admission.

Come to find out, a knowledgeable practitioner can make a simple prescription for botanically-based replacement therapy without a battery of expensive tests (formulations are pretty cut and dried based on where you are along the pre-menopause, peri-menopause, all-done-with-that-shit continuum), and the prescription itself runs about $40 a month--less, if insurance will cover any of it.

Then, as I understand it, the formulation can be tweaked over time as your situation warrants.

Gayle says that running out was like Flowers For Algernon, and that she'll never let that happen again.

So anyway, I'm going tomorrow for an intake, and more will be revealed.

[roseambr]

OK, more proof that one fit does NOT fit all! Hee! I'm sure your Naturapath will tell you, testing is the most important aspect of hormone replacement! Too much, too little, terrible consequences....

[darkemeralds]

I've been spitting into little test tubes all day! Well, twice, and two more to go.

The testing and balancing is important, but I've gotta say that my self-prescribed over-the-counter dose, despite being imperfectly balanced for me, has made an absolutely amazing positive difference in how I feel and function. I think I can manage the unwanted side effects for the two weeks it will take to get my prescription formula going.

I'm not going back to that brain fog. It was awful.