darkemeralds | And in the Aw, What The Hell category...

Well, hello you! You are stunning.

Aw, shucks! Image control, baby! The older I get, the more careful lighting is my best bud.

I think you look awesome, and thought so when I met you at Writercon.

Right back atcha, gorgeous! :D

I wish my silver looked that good! I'm still dying it red and gold because it's just dusted all over.

Thanks. It's been a long time coming: I started going gray when I was 29 (high fever--that's my story and I'm sticking to it) and colored it for twenty years before finally throwing in the towel. I was pleasantly surprised to find that the horrible, ever-present roots, when I was finally through the painful process of growing them out, looked much better than expected.

Oh, and pearl powder. Let us not forget pearl powder, which is liberally present in these photos.

Heh - me too. If my silver was that cool I'd abandon the henna like a shot. Alas I'm all brown and grey and white and it is not at all lovely. *pout* *G*

On the other hand, you can henna, and that's kind of fun. That stuff won't really take on hair as gray as mine.

I have a friend whose hair went completely white. She's only 60 and has terrific skin and a beautiful face and Liz-Taylor blue eyes (and a boyfriend who's 35!), and just a mass of this perfectly gorgeous thick, straight, snow-white hair, so you can imagine how striking she looks. Well, she wanted to be a redhead, and was told that all commercial red hair dyes are formulated for hair that already has some brown tone in it, and that it would turn her hair pink. She even has to be careful what styling products and shampoos she uses, because tinted products reveal themselves starkly on all that white.

[/random free-association about haircolor] Hee! Ramble ramble ramble.

You look AMAZING! Absolutely beautiful!

Well...thank you! Wow. Good light today.

You have got the most beautiful shade of silvery grey hair.

*is in awe*

Thanks. It was a hell of a long road getting to it: it started at age 29. Your icon is wonderful!

YAY, YOU'RE SO AWESOME!

YOU TOO!!!! \o/

You have such a distinctive face! And none of the bits of yourself you've shared so far revealed what a beautiful smile you have.

Both pics are nice, the second is stunning.

Oh, I'm glad you like that second one. I wasn't sure how it would come across to people who've never met me. When I looked at it small, in my camera, I thought it was ambiguous whether I was crying or laughing, and that's what I liked about it. Nobody reaches this age without having learned how close together those things are in life.

One of the problems with regular snapshots and candids is that for a lot of us, the camera emphasizes what the eye edits out, and doesn't capture personality or spirit very well (lucky the photogenic person who gets the opposite effect). It's so shocking to feel one looks pretty good, or at least acceptable, then to see a photograph that is nothing but dark circles and sagging jowls, puffy cheeks and wrinkles and hooded eyes (not to mention "figure flaws"). I deleted literally dozens of pictures like that to get two showing something like the person I see in the mirror on a good day.

Still beautiful! \0/

:D

I'm still at the coloring stage; I hope one day to be able to have silver hair as lovely as yours!

It was a great relief to stop coloring, and now and then when I think about coloring my hair again (usually when someone mistakes me for being even older than I am because of the gray), I remind myself how hideously difficult the growing-out process was. It took a couple of years and several really expensive transitional coloring jobs from the salon, and I'd never want to go through it again. It's very liberating not worrying about roots after 20 years of worrying about roots!

If coloring were more of a pain for me, I'd probably consider stopping--but it really isn't. I use semi-permanent so I don't have a stark line of roots, and it just takes 20 minutes or so every 4-6 weeks (whenever I notice it starting to get particularly dull). Also, I fear instead of beautiful silver I'll just have brown mixed with ugly streaky white. Ah well. If this is the biggest thing I can find to complain about, my life is pretty good. And more importantly: you look marvelous!

You're gorgeous!!!! What a beautiful smile.

I thank you and my dentist thanks you. :D

(I'm actually quite pleased to see some resemblance between my anime-self in this icon and my real self--LOL!)

...only your real self is more beautiful.

You are John. You really, really are.

Busted.

LOL! I did put a lot of myself into John. But the lifetime of being praised and misconstrued and troubled because of physical beauty--that's pretty much pure Jensen. I'm more Meg, the twin sister with a physicality a bit too aggressively...big to have qualified in the beauty rankings.

Ack! If I start psychologizing myself based on Restraint there will be no secrets left!

It's more something in your expression, not that you have to be as drop-dead gorgeous as John. It's the combination of animation and creativity with a kind of spiritual refinement.

What a lovely compliment. Thank you so much.

yep, you're looking damn fabulous, all right

LOL! Your two cents' worth, huh? Love your icon. And thanks.

WOW!

Fabulous.

:D Thanks.

emerald, you look lovely. I have hair the same colour and I like it.

Do you? Lucky us, huh? \o/

You look amazing!

Like others I'm envious of your fabulous silver hair - the last time I saw my natural hair colour was nine years ago in the post cancer treatment growing out phase (befoet hat it was whwn I was 14!) It came back as salt-and-pepper-grey tight ringlets (after the initial regrowth which

ravurian referred to as my "butch skinhead" phase) and had me reaching immediately for the henna. *G* Once it was coloured again the ringlets rocked, alas they went with time. if I was silver I'd stop colouring like a shot but I'm not there yet and doubt I'll ever have such a great colour. (I keep letting the root grow out a bit and peering at it in hope but defintiely not there yet).

Also considering those two pics and your gorgeous smile I find it difficult to believe that you're not one of the naturally photogenic *G* but I'll take your word for it!

I've known several people whose hair type changed completely after chemo, and one (my mother) whose hair changed completely after pregnancy. My mom's became curly and stayed that way. What a shame your ringlets didn't last! I've always liked super-curly hair (though its possessors tend not to like it quite as well).

Seriously, these two were the pick of almost 50 shots I took. The rest were UG-LEE.

It's a pleasure to see you again, especially looking happy and, even better, content.

*waves*

You are lovely. And now I have a lovely lovely face to put with my Restraint memories. Thank you for your strength and courage.

Thank you. It's a bit daunting to have a novel out there and to know that readers imagine its author as one thing or another, but probably not as just a middle-aged American woman. I completely understand why published authors often spend so much money on good photos for their book jackets.

I understand. I have long been disabused of the notion that I have any idea what authors look like in fandom. Or even how they are upon meeting. What ever my imaginings, I'm delighted to have your face in my mind and connected to that astonishing piece of work.

You are amazing and an inspiration to me and I thank you.

Also, you make me pine for Portlandia! I'm growing tired of the pace and lack of connection in the Land of Angels and I miss Powell's. So, thank you on several fronts.

Let me know if you ever come for a visit. I would love to meet you.

And I would love to meet you.

I was just re-reading that essay written after the end of Restraint about AU's and RPF's and it occurred to me that while I would LOVE to see this as a film or mini-series, I think the comments are right, your novel would never survive the creation process.

But. But. I wanted you to know that the writing was so evocative, that I feel as though I have watched the mini-series. I feel the imagery and when I close my eyes, I can see Tristan in the flower of his manhood, just coming out into the garden at Ravensworth, smiling his unguarded smile at John. And John, returning it with just a bit or reserve and still, after the slow, honeyed weeks of summer, that blush on his cheeks of modesty.

I have been to England and to a number of those crumbled, older estates and I can feel the lush green of the English Summer, the thick aroma of roses and lavender that hangs in the air. That solid unchanging mass of stone and old glass that makes up the older manor houses. It's just a tiny stretch for me to place John in those gardens. To have Tristan swing down from his horse and breathlessly call across the garden wall.

So you see, you've done a remarkable job of making this happen for all of us readers. How you have affected me, how deeply I was moved by Restraint, is difficult for me to textually render. I keep saying thank you because that is our culturally approved way of showing gratitude. But what I feel is deeper and more turbulent than mere gratitude. Restraint changed me.

And that is a rare gift.

I apologize for my lengthy reply. You are a remarkable human being.

I've been wanting to come back to this comment. It brought tears to my eyes. Still does, a day later. Your description of your own images of John and Tristan are like little added scenes, things I didn't imagine myself, beautiful and rich in their own right. I can't conceive of a more gratifying response to a piece of writing than to learn how much richness it evoked in the reader's mind and heart.

what I feel is deeper and more turbulent than mere gratitude. Restraint changed me.

Oddly enough, me too. I don't think I'll ever be completely at peace with it. The writing of it was as turbulent and emotional for me as the reading of it seems to have been for you. There's something deeply gratifying in learning that what you felt is so similar to what I felt. It means that by some miracle, the writing--the words themselves--didn't obscure the heart of the story.

Thank you so much for writing what you've written here. It means a great deal to me.

Hey lovely! That huge smile! :-D

kispexi2, upon first meeting me, said, "You have American teeth." :D

My icon shows an earlier version of roughly the same smile.

Very nice pictures indeed.
I'm struck by the fact that your face has changed, even since we met, to reflects your changing person. It has become more defined, and your skin is lovely. As for the hair, I've always loved grey hair (yes I use English spellings...). Silver hair as well, but for me there is something just plain nice and down to earth about it.

Keep up those Zumba sessions, clearly they are really good for you!

That's very encouraging, because I haven't actually lost any significant amount of weight (on the scale) since we met. I think perhaps the skin that got loosened in the initial weight loss has begun to tighten up a bit.

I've been happy with my gray hair for the most part. Except when someone mistakes me for my sister's mother. Grrr. She's two years younger than me. Not a gray hair on her head.

Your sister isn't playing fair at all! Giving you all the early grey hair. Grrr indeed.

I suspect you might be gaining some nice heavy muscle during this pause in weight loss. Just a thought.

I'm sure I'm adding muscle, but only in increments of grams--maybe ounces--not pounds. This is my second longish plateau in the process and I've observed that the metabolic slowdown comes with a complete relief from hot flashes (resulting in really full nights' sleeps, and way less discomfort and unseemly sweating in the face during the day), so I can't hate the plateaus.

My acupuncturist was really interested in the correlation, and thought that there must be a thyroid component. We shall see. I wouldn't mind boosting the thyroid, if I could do so without burning up!

Anything that reduces hot flashes is a good thing!

Bodies are funny things. Too bad they don't come with an instruction manual! Or perhaps they do but we don't read them? I sure didn't till I was in my mid-40's.

I don't look at the instructions for anything till I've started to break it.

Fabulous indeed! :D

One sees only one's flaws. I woke up this morning thinking OMG WTF have I done, posting photos of myself online?? LOL! Well, at least they aren't of some senator's crotch.

Hee! Nominative determinism in action!

The comedians have been having a field day with it.

Lovely photos! You look beautiful. Your Bambi eyes and killer cheekbones will serve you well; you'll still look amazing when you're 110.

"Bambi eyes"--now that is a first. LOL! But thank you.

Your comment reminds me of my favorite joke.

An attractive woman of about 60 years of age is on her daily walk in a woodland area. Suddenly, from on high, a great celestial voice says, "YOU WILL LIVE TO BE 100".

"What? Who is that? Me? I'll live to be 100?"

"YOU WILL LIVE TO BE 100," the voice repeats, and after a bit, the woman accepts that it's the Divine speaking to her.

Wow, she thinks. Forty more years! She makes an immediate appointment with a cosmetic surgeon, and over the next couple of years proceeds to have everything done, because if she's gonna live forty more years, she wants to look good doing it.

Finally, she's leaving the clinic after her final checkup--everything's been tightened and lifted and she's got a clean bill of health and her scars and bruises have all healed. She steps out into the street and is struck and killed by a bus.

Up in heaven, she goes storming off to find God. "You told me I was going to live to be 100!" she cries, distraught. "And then you let me get killed by a bus at 62!"

God looks at her in puzzlement and then says, "Oh! I didn't recognize you."

LOL!

The first one is perhaps the prettier of the two, but the second one is my favourite because you look so happy! Both of them are good photographs of an attractive lady though.

Thank you very much! I look at that second one and I see my true self. I can't remember the last time that happened in a photograph.

I look at that second one and I see my true self. I can't remember the last time that happened in a photograph.

I think I know what you mean - they say the cameras doesn't lie, but it can't always show the whole truth either...

Well said.

Wow!!! Fabulous, distinguished, and totally spectacular!

*curtsies* Thank you, kind sir!

You're absolutely beautiful.

And I'm still enjoying reading about the journey, despite the fact I fell off the self-discovery wagon and decided sleep, nutrition, and not feeling lousy were somehow less important than making comics, caffeine, and nachos... You're still an inspiration. 8)

Comics, caffeine and nachos (and the creativity they support) all have a valid place in a lifetime of artistic expression, enthusiasm and pleasure!

I just find that at my age, the price is getting pretty steep, and I feel so luxurious and self-indulgent right now getting enough sleep and lots of good food and sunshine and exercise and all those things that your mom told you were good for you.

Soon enough (the muses willing), I too may be back on the late-night bandwagon of creativity.

I feel so luxurious and self-indulgent right now getting enough sleep and lots of good food and sunshine and exercise

Agreed, apart from the sunshine. It's one of those things I only ever like in theory. I've just never found a balance. I have to be utterly consumed with self-improvement, or anything, really, or it doesn't get done. If you figure that one out, please do let me know. 8D

Love the new icon!

I have to be utterly consumed.

Me too. Balance is coming slowly, but I've had to be utterly consumed by trying to create it in order to get any. :D

How do you keep one from taking over the other? I feel like my focuses are all files with the same name, and when a new (or old - they're always old, really, just recycled) one comes in, it overwrites the last one.

"File OnlyThingYouAreAllowedtoPayAttentionTo.txt already exists in this location. Would you like to replace it with this one?" "Yes, please! 8D"

Now trying to think of a metaphor for Google Docs and copy/paste... XD

In any case, I wish you the absolute best of luck if only so you can show us how it's all done!

The advice Thomas Sterner gives in The Practicing Mind has been proving pure gold for me. Slow down. That's the heart and soul of it, really.

I'd say that it's more to the point to call the file OnlyThingYouAreAllowedToPayAttentionTo.Now.txt is more to the point, but to make that work, I've had to be mindful of how, in fifteen minutes or in an hour or tomorrow, I want and need to pay attention to another thing.

I'm getting a hell of a lot done these days, and much of it is stuff that I get pleasure and satisfaction from. I think balance comes gradually. I think, as in Thomas Sterner's piano-tuning, every accomplishment comes gradually.

Damn, girl. Look at you. Beautiful!

Awwww! Thanks. Image control, that's the secret.

You look amazing! And you seem to be effortlessly stylish. All that and gorgeous silver hair :) (I'm another who would stop dying if my hair was silver, but unfortunately it's an unhappy combination of dirty blonde and iron grey.)

"Effortlessly stylish" might be the best compliment I've ever received. Thank you. (It means that I've successfully hidden the workings! :D)

And in the Aw, What The Hell category...

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The Whole is Greater than the Sum of the Parts

Re: The Whole is Greater than the Sum of the Parts

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