darkemeralds | An exercise of will

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An exercise of will

I haven't taken yoga for a long time, and I expected my first foray this afternoon to be difficult-to-impossible, especially since the class was at a posh downtown studio where Real Yoga People go.

It was, indeed, difficult-to-impossible. I'd have loved to be all ace and awesome at it, but life on a bike and in a few Zumba classes a week does not a yogini make, and wrist and knee discomfort soon slid over the line into pain.

Out of respect for my own (hopefully temporary) limitations, I bowed myself quietly out after a few minutes, and watched from the back of the room, joining in at a couple of points where the movements were easier for me.

What follows might not mean much to you if you're not a dame d'un certain âge, so grain-o'-salt, younger folks. Grain-o'-salt.

The teacher called for kartari mukha, and made a reference to Richard Nixon (who famously used the two-finger peace gesture a lot). "I bet you remember that, don't you, Anne?" he said to me.

Well, yes, I do, though as a method of making me feel included this left something to be desired.

After the class, he came up to me and without preamble began explaining that he couldn't make the instruction appropriate for someone who's never taken yoga before (he didn't ask about my prior experience, which was pretty extensive at one point), because it would be unfair to the regulars who expect a good yoga workout. When I tried to explain that it was specific wrist and knee pain, and not general unfitness, that had pushed me to the bench, he said that yes, his mother has arthritis, too, and that there might be some special classes...

Now, I started being age-dismissed by men twenty years ago, and I've become increasingly invisible to all human beings in the years since then, but I think this might be my first really genuine and obvious nonsexual age-dismissal. It was kind of unsettling. Through this man's eyes I saw myself as a little old lady for the first time.*

Thank you, Assumption-Man!

I'll try a different teacher next time, one who's willing (as most fitness leaders are) to offer lower-impact alternatives throughout the instruction. The few minutes of yoga I managed to do felt absolutely wonderful, and I'm not about to let some all-mouth-no-ears, apparently-unconscious-age-bigot stop me from getting more of that.

*I'd argue for just not getting old in the first place, except that a) it beats the crap out of the alternative and b) it really is mostly awesome.

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When I tried to explain that it was specific wrist and knee pain, and not general unfitness, that had pushed me to the bench, he said that yes, his mother has arthritis, too, and that there might be some special classes...

Oh no he didn't!

He so did.

I realize that I edited out the part of my post which described the instructor as a man in his early 40s...

You know what, he fails as a yoga teacher. One of the first things I learned during my yoga teacher training (after 'listen with your heart') was, "Make the class appropriate for the people who show up." In fact, my teacher, as part of teaching teachers, would teach a class with the teachers-in-training as students and then share his angst with us about feeling like he didn't challenge certain students or did too much for other students. I have never once in all the hundreds and hundreds of classes that I taught let a student be segregated from the rest of the class due to differing abilities. I've had students do an entirely different class from the rest of the students but they were always still part of the class.

What a wonderful insider's insight! Thank you.

To be fair, I did segregate myself--but only after pausing a couple of times in the routine to massage my hands and wrists (to the point where I felt I was disrupting those around me).

I feel very encouraged by what you've said here. I will definitely try again with a different instructor. And I may wander back to you for further insights! I don't think I was aware that you're a yoga professional!

You may have physically segregated yourself but, as a teacher, it would be my job to be aware of your experience and to notice that what I am offering is not working for you and start throwing out alternatives so that segregating yourself doesn't even occur to you. I can describe the same pose a half-dozen ways in a minute because not everyone translates words into body movements the same way. I can offer, off the top of my head, five different options for down-dog if the standard pose isn't working (and probably more if I sit down and start brain-storming or if I see a body that it isn't working for).

Definitely reach out to me if you want. Yoga is one of the truest loves of my life.

You may also want to join

sun_salutation.

I just checked to see if my teacher was going to be doing any workshops in your area any time soon but alas, it is not (currently) to be. If you ever get the chance to do a workshop with Jonny Kest, do whatever it takes to go.

That looks like a wonderfully active community. Thanks for the recommendation. I had a look, too, at Jonny Kest's website. Sure wish I could go on retreat with him to Mexico in March--doesn't that sound wonderful? (And I could schedule my magical Mexican dental work too!) Alas, not this year, but it's very enticing.

And maybe by next year I'll have made some yoga progress AND saved up some money.

It is amazing and I highly recommend the experience. Just bring a lot of bug spray as the mosquitoes will eat you up.

Also, I'm curious as to who your instructor was and the name of the studio.

I didn't catch either (went along there with a friend in kind of a lunch-hour whirlwind), and would hesitate to give either name in this context, since it's a beautiful place and clearly well-attended and well-liked.

I'd hate to judge the whole business on this one experience, which might have been an aberration, and I'd really hate to be the cause of anyone else's negative feelings.

In fact, I'm going back there next Thursday, to a class led by a very different teacher (recommended by my friend), and I hope to have a much more positive report.

I was curious more because I was looking at a yoga studio and thinking that if I was looking for a place to take classes in Portland, I'd probably start at that studio and I didn't want to suggest it to you only to have you say, "oh, yeah, that's the guy." :D

http://yogaonyamhill.com/

Whoa. You nailed it one. *is impressed*

It's a beautiful place, and from what I understand, a host of different instructors teach classes there throughout the day and evening. The cost is on a sliding scale of suggested donation ($10 is standard for a 45-minute class), and it's only four blocks from my work.

I'm seriously going to give the studio another chance--just probably choosing different days/evenings and instructors until I become a little more proficient. At that point, Mr Assumption Man probably won't be a problem.

:D Is Paul the teacher who you are trying next week? I like his training and that he teaches Yin.

If you want my opinions on the other teachers there based on their bios, let me know. Opinions, I have them.

You're awesome! I will definitely hit you up for your opinion, and more information, next week when I work up the nerve to go back. I understand that there's a Thursday lunchtime teacher, a woman, who leads a "gentler" class. Sounds like more my speed.

To be fair, I did segregate myself--but only after pausing a couple of times in the routine to massage my hands and wrists (to the point where I felt I was disrupting those around me).

My wife has done this before (she was unable to handle a certain type of movement based on her ability that day), and every time the teacher has done a quiet check-in to see if other movements could work for her body for that class. Apparently, that's how it's supposed to be handled instead of the ageist stupidhead stuff your teacher did.

Hrmph. I'm sorry you had yoga with such a ninny.

Thanks.

I felt that the teacher really could have taken ten or fifteen seconds to suggest an alternate movement. It was an unfortunate (but educational!) initial experience.

Wow, I don't think I'd fully appreciated how universally positive my experience with instructors has been to date. And/or appreciated the ways in which age-dismissal might differ from size-dismissal.

But unless the class was described as being for advanced participants or for people that already have X or Y experience, then the failure of the instructor to provide any kind of guidance about making exercises easier or harder as desired or modifying them due to any physical limitations, or about what kind of pain might signify muscles being used in a new way (good!) vs bad form (bad! but easily correctable) vs any type of medical condition that might make yoga a poor fit (bad! give suggestions of other forms of exercise that might be more appropriate to the individual's particular incompatibility with yoga), is just such an utter failure on the part of the instructor. You know, in addition to the age-dismissal.

Every class I've taken in recent memory has started with a "stop at any point if you have to, join back in as soon as you're able if you can, every exercise can be made easier or harder as desired and I'll show you what the modifications are as we get to each new thing but also as a general rule do this to make things easier and that to make things harder, if you have any wrist/knee/joint issues or any other medical problem that might require different/additional modifications let me know and we'll find something that works for you" preamble. ...I'd kind of assumed that every instructor would start off like that, but I suppose I've been very fortunate.

Good to know that this experience was exceptional.

To be perfectly fair, it was a lunch-hour class with a kind of efficient, get-in-get-out schedule, and I was rushed along to it by a coworker who goes all the time. It's quite possible that Assumption Man started out with the assumption that I was as experienced as my friend, and likely that he just didn't feel there was time for a lot of one-on-one communication.

I do intend to try again with a different instructor, because I already know the benefits of yoga, and I'm long overdue to get those benefits for myself once again.

And this is Portland ferchrissakes. Yoga studios are almost as numerous as bike shops. :D

Wow, that guy sounds kind of like a dick. I hope you'll try yoga again - it's amazing, especially for women of a certain age (of which I am one, too). I've struggled with wrist pain as well. In fact, it took me years before I could actually do downward facing dog without pain, but that was probably more due to the fact that the injury was still healing than anything. Anyhow, sometimes it helps to make fists when doing that pose.

I agree that getting older is mostly awesome. Although it has been an adjustment for me. I became a grandma and entered menopause within 6 months of each other. Meep!

I will definitely try again. I just hope my ego can stand the test of possibly having to try several studios and instructors before I find a good fit.

I thought about trying Downward-Facing Dog on fists instead of palms, but I had this big ring on and felt awkward about stopping to take it off and stash it away. If the instructor had so much as mentioned that fists were a way to go, I'd probably have felt freer to cause the disruption.

Anyway, funny, isn't it, how even in our later years, we can still be stalled out by juvenile concerns like "Oooh, I don't want to bother people and look silly"?

And yet yay for the wisdom we do gain.

I'm totally butting in here but on the fists can do nasty things to your alignment. Find a teacher to talk you through half-dog. Half-dog will help your body make the changes it needs to make so that down dog won't bother your wrists any longer.

In terms of disrupting the class, I used to have a friend with the most gorgeous long hair and in the course of an hour and a half class, she would move that ponytail at least a dozen times to accommodate different poses. Most students won't even notice. Unless you are stinky or talking, most things aren't as distracting as your own mind is making them out to be.

My coworker (once back at the office) mentioned that there are very slight adjustments you can make to the position of your spread hands that minimize wrist impact. But of course I'd need the teacher to take a second to show that to me--which I hope the next one will. (And I'll make a point of mentioning the existing problems before the class starts.)

I know that a lot of my discomfort was from pure disuse, which is of course why I want to take yoga in the first place. I'm really looking forward to regaining some flexibility.

I'm sort of excited by all the input you and other DW-ers have given me on this post. I feel very encouraged to continue!

Down dog is one of those absolutely gorgeous and deceptive poses that turns out to be utterly brutal. You could spend an hour class just working on that pose and not even come close to finding the sweet spot in it. Actually, I've done that. It's taught in most classes but most bodies, especially in our chair-sitting, computer-using society, aren't even capable of coming close to mastering it without years of focused attention.

You are making me crave playing with bodies and poses so much. Would you like to come to Phoenix for vacation? ;D

Hee! No immediate plans, though Phoenix in the spring is lovely. Gosh, I'm glad I'm not aiming for mastery. It sounds really hard! :D

Not hard so much as very, very fiddly combined with stretching parts of our bodies that we aren't used to stretching.

Wow, that is the antithesis of my yoga experience. I used to be the youngest, though there are a few younger ones now, and between us we have lots of injuries and age/fitness-related limitations, as well as lots of different body types. Our teacher is all about making it work for everyone. She has tweaks and alternatives for everything and knows individual limitations, so she's making personalised suggestions before people have even figured out they might have a problem. And when appropriate she'll come round and adjust our poses to maximise the stretch or whatever.

Someone new joined last week, someone for whom English is not a first language, and there were lots more explanations and variations on how she expressed things, just to be sure it was working. It was actually helpful for me as a veteran of a few years, because it made me more mindful and also validated some of my own adaptations.

And we have fun, as well as relaxing and stretching and strengthening.

I'm so encouraged by this! You and several other people both here and in person have said that my experience is really, really atypical. My recent experience is with Zumba and a couple of other gym-type class situations, where the standard is, as you say, "tweaks and alternatives" for individual needs. I expected the same in a yoga class, and was taken aback by its absence.

I'm gathering that I need to seek a "yin" yoga class, because, yes! What I want is fun, relaxation, stretching and strengthening. Preferably without any side orders of judgment and ageism.

It just struck me, reading your reply, that another difference between the classes we go to and (I infer) the one you experienced, is the drop-in thing. We have had a few people come along to try things out, but the general principle for ours is that you sign up for at least the whole term. You pay in advance at the beginning of term both to protect Lizzy's livelihood and as a way of committing.

I'm not criticising the idea of class that is run on a drop-in basis, but I wonder if it makes a difference to teaching style?

I get the impression that most drop-in classes tend to develop something of a regular following, but I imagine your idea is correct. Certainly a term-long class would free up the instructor from having to re-invent the special help with every single session.

If he can't differentiate for people with different levels of fitness (or ability, for that matter!) he's a rubbish teacher. My last yoga class catered to everyone from beginners to people who could tie themselves in knots, it's just in the skill of the teacher.

Boo! I say! Boo!

Me too! Boo! Hiss!

LOL!

There were some knot-tier-uppers in this class, and it was hard to avoid the feeling of being judged worthy-or-unworthy based on stretchy-bendiness. Most of that judgment, of course, is in my own mind.

The ageism, however, was real. And very hard not to resent. Working on that today.

The first principle of yoga is ahimsa (non-hurting) so he already flunked big time.

Also, if you are going to maximize your revenue opportunities by having open classes, you have to be prepared to deal with people being at different stages of physical ability and yoga practice. And if you're going to limit the class to people at a certain level, you have to have some kind of audition process.

I'd suggest going only/getting a DVD described as "getting back into it for people who haven't done any yoga for a while" and THEN try classes.

The standard work-around if you can't take weight on your wrists is to make soft fists and put your fists and forearms together and make a tripod. The standard work-around if you can take SOME weight on your wrists but not the whole pose is to spread your fingers and concentrate on spreading weight into the fingers and palm as well as the wrist.

What Changed My Life in doing downward dog was reading a book that said to turn elbows and hands IN instead of out or straight ahead.

Stuff you can't do full out can often be done leaning on the wall (this works especially well for Warrior or inversions) or with blocks and straps.

Your perspective on the "revenue" side is particularly helpful. If there was any indication that the class could not accommodate beginners or returnees, I didn't see or hear it. I did, however, contribute to the revenue just like everyone else, and I didn't see anyone putting their hand over the donation box and ascertaining whether I'd get my money's worth. (I did, but no strictly in yoga terms, you know?)

I appreciate the tips and tricks. I'm unlikely to do anything with a DVD at home, but I'll certainly be seeking out a more "yin" instructor and class. And I'll remember that about the elbows and hands! Thank you.

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An exercise of will

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