darkemeralds. B12 (Reply)

ranunculus recently posted about the beneficial effects a therapeutic dose of vitamin B12 has had on her overall well-being.

Many of the symptoms of B12 deficiency match those of hormone depletion--notably "brain fog"--and hormone replacement has already given me back my brain. I have no reason to think I'm clinically deficient in B12.

But the body's ability to absorb B12 from food diminishes steadily after 40 or so, and you can become completely depleted before the deficiency will show up in blood tests, so adding B12 to my regimen seemed a reasonable precaution.

Maybe it's a placebo effect, or

ranunculus' amazing powers of suggestion, or maybe it's coincidence, but damn, Skippy. I Zumba-ed my ass off last night. And it wasn't just more stamina: it was more strength. More...dare I say it?...grace. Which is to say better brain-to-muscle coordination. Faster processing of the dance cues from the instructor. Significantly sharper memory for what should come next in the routine.

And there's this smooth feeling, this rich, highly oxygenated, pulsing kind of vibrancy. I realized late last evening that I felt more wonderful than I can ever remember feeling (and I remember cocaine, okay?).

I tried to pinpoint what it was, but I finally realized that what it wasn't was the key: For one thing, nothing hurt. But more than that, it was quiet in my brain.

Monkey-brain, "roof-brain chatter," as my fave therapist used to call it, was absent. There wasn't a single negative voice in my head chanting the litany of shame, doubt, and fear that have been the soundtrack of my life. Everything felt wonderfully, magically neutral. Everything was A-okay, Captain.

No, I don't think all this magic came out of a $25 bottle of vitamin spray. I've been doing a lot of other things to improve what goes in on DarkEm-ville, and exogenous factors--like sunshine!--were favorable, so there was a convergence of goodness.

But vitamin B12: definitely one of the good things. Because I took some more this morning and the roof brain chatter is blessedly silent again today.

It's weird to think that all the vicissitudes of my younger years could have been relieved with some vitamins and hormones, and that all that damn talk therapy was probably pretty useless, but you know what? I'm getting used to the notion.