Posted by Athena Scalzi
https://whatever.scalzi.com/2026/03/30/march-marches-on/
https://whatever.scalzi.com/?p=59908
March was a much busier month than I expected it to be, but it also flew by and I feel like I can’t even keep track of what all happened. I don’t know how we’re at the end of March already, and yet the trip to Colorado I took at the beginning of the month feels very far away. Somehow there’s never enough time to do anything, and when I look back at what I have done it feels like nothing got accomplished at all. It’s like every single day I have no free time and am always running around doing something, but then at the end of the day it feels like nothing even got done.
This past month I’ve truly felt so overwhelmed by everything. And when I say everything I mean any and every little thing stresses me out in a disproportionate way. It’s like my brain doesn’t know the difference between a small problem and a catastrophic one, and so my response to either ends up being the most extreme reaction possible and results in a meltdown and a paralysis of my ability to function.
Every issue is day-ruining, every problem brings me to tears, nothing feels possible to overcome, whether it be the laundry, grocery shopping, or calling the plumber for the tenth time because of leaking in the basement. Everything takes so much longer to accomplish than I think it will. I am either not managing my time well or maybe just not budgeting for things correctly in the first place. Surely it’s a combination of both.
There’s always something more to do. It never ends. There is never a moment of “whew, I got everything done!” The satisfaction of completion, of achievement, never comes. The stress doesn’t end, it continues from one day into the next. I go to sleep anxious and stressed about the problems tomorrow me will face, and then tomorrow me wakes up and is stressed about the problems that have to be taken care of that day. It feels like a vicious cycle and I feel like I’ll never be free.
I keep thinking it will get better, but it hasn’t.
But if I explain the things that are causing me so much stress, I just sound ridiculous and more than a little pathetic. I mean, everyone has bills. Everyone has dishes and laundry to do. Everyone has appointments to keep. Everyone has to grocery shop and cook for themselves. These are very normal, well known life things that everyone does and manages on a day-to-day basis. So why am I drowning? I don’t even have a 9 to 5 or kids or anything that makes my life so much harder and more overwhelming than everyone else’s. In fact, I have the opposite! I have financial security and a WFH job and supportive family and friends, and I still feel suffocated by the menial, tedious, repetitive tasks of daily life.
Every task takes so much amping up for me to do. I cannot simply do a task, I have to work up to said task. I have to prepare mentally to accomplish the task. I need proper motivation, and I so rarely have it.
There are so many things within the house I thought would be done by now, like furnishing the sun room, painting the walls, fixing up the guest bedroom, and yet none of these have been accomplished despite having moved in in November. I just thought these things would be done by now. Or at least started. But they’re not. And my Christmas tree is still up.
Plus, nothing feels like it matters in the face of what’s happening in the world, but that’s a tale as old as time and told by everyone at this point. It hardly feels like an excuse anymore. Oh no, I’m witnessing unspeakable horrors all day every day! Well, time to do the dishes. At least I still have running water, unlike people near data centers. Oh, they’re building a data center twelve miles away from me? Right, right. Well, I guess I’ll just go ahead and do my taxes. Oh, the US is committing horrific acts of war with our tax dollars? Again? Right, right.
I know I’m sounding very doomer, and I rarely bring these types of thoughts here, but good lord March was heavy and I can’t really figure out why it was so bad. But it was, and I posted pretty much zero content. I don’t want to feel like my writing doesn’t matter, and I don’t want to feel like the things I do in my day to day life don’t matter, but that’s where I’m at right now. I know a lot of people feel the same way.
I’m hoping to catch up with a lot of posts, as I have been doing really fun and exciting stuff. And as frustrated as I am that all the good things in life are continuously tainted by the fact we live in a world run by the most evil people imaginable, I am still looking forward to sharing those good things with y’all. Because they do exist, despite it all.
-AMS
https://whatever.scalzi.com/2026/03/30/march-marches-on/
https://whatever.scalzi.com/?p=59908