08/30 Whoops

Missed a day. Darn! Only a quarter of the way into posting, reading, and commenting every day for a month, and I completely forgot yesterday. Never even opened my computer.

I saw "The Internship" on Friday after work. Considering that I've missed every major movie of the past two years except "The Avengers", spending the admission price to see a predictable underdog buddy-comedy is kind of a questionable choice. But, you know, Dylan O'Brien.

The movie was better than I expected. Once the cringeworthy oblivous-people-embarrassing-themselves part was done (the first 15 minutes or so--and yes, that's a thing of mine, not a criticism of the movie), it became kind of charming.

What made it the most fun of all was that vampirefan, who lives two time zones away, wanted to see it too. Neither of us had anyone to go with, so we went together! She went to a 6:30 showing, I went to a 4:30 showing, and we texted each other at key points from our respective cinema back row seats.

Here's a frame from my favorite scene:

09/30 Biochemical disorder

I was gonna title this post "Mental Illness" but I'm no longer sure that there's any such thing as "mind," so the concept of having one, and it being ill, doesn't really mean much to me.

However, I got through the day by repeating "Mental Illness" (and "Relapse") to myself because it was infinitely more comforting than responding to the voices in my head.

For the first time ever, I think I've managed to separate state from cause while I'm in the state. (I still am, by the way, so warning for unreliable narrator here.)

( As clear a description of a lifelong recurring state of disorder as I can come up with while I'm still in it )

Now that I've written all this, I'm feeling the sewer-overflow recede. Ten hours, one chocolate bar, eyes not too swollen--not bad! By tomorrow the chemistry will be heading back to normal.

It would be so easy to let it go at that. But I think I need help. I can't survive many of these. They just cost too much.