Lars and the Real Girl

[darkemeralds]

I just finished watching Lars and the Real Girl, a strange little 2007 movie about family and community, with the unlikely premise of a socially-backward man who buys a life-size sex doll on the internet and introduces her as his girlfriend.

You wouldn't think it would work--or you'd think it would be some kind of fratboy farce, or else some weird Oliver Sachs-based tale of psychosis, but it's not. It's lighthanded and gentle, and it dances on the edge of magical realism without quite crossing the line.

It has two remarkable performances, by Ryan Gosling as Lars and Patricia Clarkson as Dagmar, the family doctor who works with him in his delusion.

There's a scene between them that was hard for me to watch because it hit a little close to home. Lars, talking to Dagmar in her clinic, says that he doesn't like to be hugged.

"But it's such a comfort sometimes, just to have somebody's arms around you, don't you think?" Dagmar asks.

"No!" Lars says. "It doesn't feel good. It hurts."

This surprises Dagmar, but she covers it and says, "Like a cut or a bruise?"

"Like a burn," Lars says. "Like you go outside and your feet freeze, and then you come back in and they thaw out? It's almost exactly like that."

So Dagmar puts a finger on the back of his hand, and he says, "No, that's okay, that's not too bad." She puts all four fingers there and he becomes uncomfortable, but he can still handle it. She moves her hand to his neck, and he completely freaks out.

I have that symptom, and I've never seen or heard so clearly described. I can almost not bear to be touched either, and I associate with a pain very similar to what Lars describes in this scene.

The movie was gentle-spirited enough that I was able to watch it all the way through despite the too-close-for-comfort "untouchable" scene. It has an unsurprising ending; there's nothing incredibly brilliant about it, but it's well written and charming, and I'm kind of glad I saw it.

It made a nice antidote to the the one I watched last night: Harold and Kumar Escape From Guantanamo Bay. Talk about a contrast.

Comments

[lamentables]

That sounds as though it might well be my kind of movie. Thanks for talking about it.

[darkemeralds]

It's a movie that I would NEVER have watched based on the premise alone, but first my mother, then my sister recommended it highly. It has almost none of the embarrassing squickiness that one might expect from a story featuring a deluded, damaged young man and a sex doll, but it's very hard to sum up in a sentence without evoking that fear.

It's rated PG-13, and while young teens probably wouldn't really get it, there's nothing in it that a younger audience shouldn't see.

If you decide to watch it, I'll be interested in your reaction.

[executrix]

I know it's a proflick, but it highlights a perpetual bone I have to pick with fandom: something is good, well, if it's good, not if it carries a label that you like.

[darkemeralds]

Very true, but in choosing how I'm going to spend my limited reading or movie-watching time and energy, there's a certain amount of book-cover-judging that's going to happen. Every product has to be packaged, and this movie is a particularly tricky one to package--so much so that I'm amazed it got produced at all.

I have a piece of writing out there now whose comment stream contains any number of "I would never, ever have approached a piece with these particular labels, except for so-and-so's recommendation." And yet there need to be some labels.

The tougher the sell, the more recommendations and word of mouth are going to be the deciding factor, because the labels, while necessary, aren't sufficient.