What I'm learning from Norm

[darkemeralds]

lamentables was generous enough to share some excellent insights this morning about how different working styles are rewarded differently in the workplace. She's helped me see my trying work situation much more clearly.

I can't say that I love what I'm seeing, but the clarity is good. Let me see...

• Norm has forgotten that I have my own job to do in addition to learning his job
• I seem to have become Norm's assistant. He doesn't know he's doing it. He assigns me little chores. Sigh.
• He's begun speaking to me while I'm on the phone dealing with a situation in my own job, as if my own phone call doesn't really exist (or as if I'm just goofing around, talking to my pals)
• Mr Workaholic thinks it's okay to eat his lunch while showing me stuff (sitting right next to me, leaning forward to point at my screen, chew chew chew OMG). I said, "Take a lunch break, Norm" and thank gog he did

All of this while dithering, slogging, telling me what he's going to tell me, over-explaining and generally making me want to go eat the Haagen Dazs factory.



Waah! I want to go home and curl up with John, Tristan, and either a rainstorm or mineral hot springs...

ETA: OMFG OMFG OMFG I was just about to shut down and leave when Norm came back to our cubicle. He's still talking. Telling me what he's going to tell me, going over what he's going to do, thinking out loud at me, ignoring me saying that I'm an hour late leaving and need to go home OMFG I AM GOING TO SCREAM.

I scream... Mmmm. Ice cream...

Comments

[karen_jk]

Could Norm have a touch of Asperger's, maybe? Would it help to tell him calmly but clearly that you have to go now, as you get up and leave?

I don't know how honest it's feasible to be, but it sounds like it did help when you told him to take a lunch break!

This does sound so uncomfortable...

[darkemeralds]

Huh. The Asperger's notion might explain a few other things. I'll have to give that some thought. Thanks.

I can see that I need to defuse this situation as soon as possible, and that the fuse is all on my side, leading to my own explosion, either of temper or blood pressure. I've done okay so far, but I'm starting to get twitchy, and rudeness is almost sure to follow if I don't take care.

I appreciate your point of view. It's helping me see the situation a little differently.

[darkemeralds]

PS: Asperger's symptoms look more like me than like Norm!

Uh oh.

[karen_jk]

I would not have thought that you had Asperger's! You seem pretty tuned in to the language of emotions.

[darkemeralds]

Oh, I don't think I'm autistic at all, and I'm probably over-tuned to the language of emotions, but some of the symptom picture reminded me a little more of myself than of poor Norm. He just seems nervous.

[bientot]

Once when I asked a friend how it was going, he replied, "Good humor." It sort of scared me that I KNEW he meant, 'I scream, you scream....'

Sounds like Norm needs a stern talking to. Feel free to tell him I said so.

[darkemeralds]

LOL! Good Humor. I love it. I shall remember that.

[emungere]

Suggestion for how to deal with the "talking to you while you're on the phone" issue...in video form!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e5hNSpZNHn0

[darkemeralds]

LOLOLOL!

I love Black Books. Been a while since I've seen any. Thanks for the laugh. that was brilliant.

[scribblemoose]

That sounds a lot like my job yesterday. Sometimes I long for an office of my own, even if I would probably get lonely.

[darkemeralds]

I would never, ever get lonely in an office of my own. I've had one, though, and the problem was I never got much work done, either. Too easy to surf the web unmolested.

[kis]

*appalled*

[darkemeralds]

Yeah. Well, he's on vacation today, so it's almost like I am too.

[kis]

Gosh. Norm on vacation. I wonder what he's doing? Something utterly thrilling, no doubt.

[darkemeralds]

Filing overdue tax returns for an elderly relative.

[cookiemom6067]

ARRRRRGH!!!!!

I hate that "tell you what I'm going to tell you, tell you, tell you what I told you" thing!!!!!!

I'd be ready to spike his coffee with something soporific.

I would also be telling him straight out that I'm NOT his assistant, I'm just taking SOME of his duties and I have my OWN job, thank you very much.

I would try to be nice about it, but I'd for SURE tell him. Anyway to speed up the transition and get NORM out of training mode? Is he going to be looking over your shoulder forever, trying to make sure you're using the approved NORM METHOD of doing what he used to do, or are you going to be able to be WAY more efficient?

[darkemeralds]

There is no way on this green earth that I'm going to use the approved NORM METHOD of doing his job. I'm literally not able to use my brain that way. His challenge in all this will be to pry his detail-oriented little digits off the job he designed, and let me redesign it.

If anyone questions that, I can do the math for them: it takes me six hours a day to do my job. It takes Norm ten hours a day to do his. There are two conflicting expectations here: A. that I'll work sixteen-hour days, B. that I'll massively streamline Norm's job.

My worry is that Unspoken Expectation A is the operative one.

[cat63]

I suppose shooting him with a small water pistol when he does something annoying is completely out of the question?

Only it seems to work for cats and he seems to share their complete obliviousness to other people's needs...

[darkemeralds]

I love that idea. Think he'd get the message?

[cat63]

Alas, probably not, but it might be fun anyway :-)