Not too heinous

[darkemeralds]

The only time I've ever enjoyed shopping for clothes were those couple of ten-minute periods long ago when I managed to starve and pound myself down into a "normal" size range.

In the faint hope of finding...you know, something, I stopped at a shop this afternoon where I occasionally find a suitable casual item or two.

It's not that I expect to look actually good in anything I buy--there is not enough magic in the world for that--but I don't think it's outside the realm of possibility for me to look relatively good. Better in some styles than others.

But no. The best I could say about today's look through the racks was "not too heinous." And that applied only to a few items, none of which was not-heinous enough for me to actually spend money on.

So I came home purchaseless and, having saved a ton of money on my wardrobe, dropped it all at the liquor store on a bottle of 15-year-old Laphroaig. Coupla shots of that, and I look marvelous.

Comments

[karen_jk]

You know, this post has me a bit worried.

I hope you are doing ok.

I hope, too, that you will find a store that sells clothes that cheer you up instead of bring you down.

[darkemeralds]

Oh dear. Nothing to worry about here--I'm an absolutely terrible drinker: takes me a year to get through a bottle of scotch. But I appreciate your concern.

It's really not about the clothes so much as it's about my self-image, which has rarely been good and mostly doesn't bother me anymore. Every now and then, though, one does have to replace a couple of pairs of black trousers, at a minimum, and then one must commit shopping whether one wishes to or not.

[shezan.livejournal.com]

Do you have a Lane Bryant store in your neck of the woods? I've always found terrific stuff there, no matter what (over)weight I was.

[darkemeralds]

I don't, and I haven't been in a Lane Bryant for years, but a quick glance at their website indicates that they do have the right idea. Thanks! Great suggestion. Shopping now! \o/

[shezan.livejournal.com]

... and their bras & knickers are to DIE for - sexy and well cut. These people have saved my life for YEARS. Now that I'm shopping in "normal"-sized places again, I still go there whenever I'm in the US (ah, if only they would ship to Frogland...) & buy a ton of stuff.

In NY the only seriously good LB store is in Harlem, so I have a great time surrounded by BBBWs, who all think a Parisienne coming to 125th St to buy clothes is a riot.

[bluemeridian]

Arrrgh. I know what you mean - buying casual pants that fit is generally a futile exercise for me and lets not even discuss shorts. I'm not even over weight (uh, I think... I'm sure the doctor will tell me on Monday) but I'm not the right shape to fit into the clothes they're selling and it's maddening and so incredibly frustrating. There are some dress pants I can wear, but the jeans and casual clothes that I actually live in? Hah! Then LL Bean came out with a new style of pants that fit me ("curvy" fit) this past spring and it made me deliriously happy. Now I have one pair of jeans that fit (well, two, but the second pair don't actually fit, they're just comfortable).

Working with other people every day and having to dress for it and therefore having to think about how things fit constantly? Pure stress! Yuck. I fully support the Laphroaig purchase.

[darkemeralds]

I can't imagine having to work where my fashion sense or even my appearance is very important. I used to, all the time--in banks, law firms, and sales offices when I was more of a secretary type. It was fun, but expensive, and, as you say, a constant source of pressure.

I just need to run out for some honey and then it's hot toddy time for me on this chilly October evening. \o/

[shezan.livejournal.com]

H&M have surprisingly well-fitting jeans & pants for a song.

[darkemeralds]

That's odd. This is the second time in my life I've heard of H&M, and the first time was just a couple of hours ago.

Looks like a fabulous store, and they're about to open one here in Portland. My younger and slimmer nieces and friends should be delighted!

Comfy, funky Clothes

[cattraine.livejournal.com]

try Holy Clothing--very comfy and affordable (and well made)in
REAL woman sizes.

Re: Comfy, funky Clothes

[darkemeralds]

Oh, fantastic! See, that's what I love: a line or brand with a distinctive sense of style that isn't just sized up from slimmer models, but is designed from the neckline down with larger women in mind.

I don't lean very much toward the Gothic or the Victorian myself (because I'm 5'10" and don't benefit very much from lace or excess drapeyness), but even so, there are a couple of lovely pieces on their site that I'm now seriously considering.

Thank you! Great recommendation.

Re: Comfy, funky Clothes

[darkemeralds]

I'm very excited! I just ordered this extremely awesome jacket and this skirt from them. What a wonderful resource!

I have to love a clothing vendor whose garment titles include all possible keywords: "Burgundy Wine Gizelle Floral Embroidered Velvet Gypsy Boho Tunic Top Jacket" FTW!

Thanks again for the reference.

Re: Comfy, funky Clothes

[cattraine.livejournal.com]

*Beams*

Glad you like them. I am contemplating one of the long dresses myself..

Re: Comfy, funky Clothes

[tehomet]

I love them, too. :D

[executrix]

We've only been in the same physical location during WriterCon, but I must say my immediate impression of your appearance was not "yuck!" or "double-bagger" but "Junoesque" and "regal". (Also, I think you have very cool hair.)

It's been a long time since I actually bought any clothes retail but I think you'd look fabulous in Eileen Fisher, and her Women's range goes up to 3X which I think would probably fit you and Chewbacca simultaneously.

I find that men's pants are a much better fit for me than women's, and they have the advantage of coming in varied leg lengths, and I can get men's shirts that are long enough in the sleeves. If, say, you turned up at work in a beautifully tailored pair of black wool trousers, a cerulean cashmere sweater, and a gorgeous scarf or necklace, I don't think anybody would say, "blimey, there's darkemeralds dragging it up again"--and you'd be wearing comfortable, bike-friendly clothes to boot.

[darkemeralds]

LOLOLOL! Oh, I am laughing so hard at the idea of my coworkers saying "Blimey, there's DarkEm dragging it up again"! Hee!

Thank you for your kind words, though: you're helping me grope my way towards a "look" and I love the image you pose (though I might substitute pumpkin or aubergine for the cerulean). I'm too hippy and booby for menswear, though I have always wished I could cross-dress in the way you describe, and even as a teen envisioned my attendance at junior and senior proms wearing a tuxedo. I really should have had a gay boyfriend.

Eileen Fisher seems a skosh out of my normal price range, but I'm sure there must be sales and markdowns sometimes, if I could work up the nerve to enter Nordstrom.

I feel inspired, nevertheless! Thank you!

[(Anonymous)]

not sure if you have any in your area, but have you tried Lane Bryant. It's pretty much where I get all of my nice clothes. It caters specifically for bigger women. It's a little expensive, but as far as I'm concerned, definitely worth being it.

[darkemeralds]

You're the second person to make that suggestion here, so I'm having a good look around their website right now. Thanks!

[tehomet]

15-year-old Laphroaig

You have extremely good taste. I am unsurprised.

It's not that I expect to look actually good in anything I buy--there is not enough magic in the world for that--

Totally not true! You are a woman of taste and style.

Re: clothes shopping. I hear what you're saying. I'm a 6x in your American sizing.

I love Holy Clothing a great deal and have loads of their stuff, but most of their styles are very intricate/embroidered/embellished, which is nice if that's what you like (and I do!), but on a tall person like me (I'm 5 foot nine or so) sometimes it looks like I'm off to a Renaissance Fair. :D Their 5x size fits me, probably because their styles are pretty accommodating. Also, their clothes are made in India, usually of vicose, and tend to fade pretty quickly with washing. One may ameliorate this by washing them in near-cold water, but it's a fact. So, long story short, I do love Holy Clothing, but I tend to keep their stuff for casual wear and not expect it to last too long.

For all other times, when I have to look put together for work, or more conventional, or for going out in the evenings, I prefer clothes from Love Your Peaches. They have a massive range of styles - going-out clothes as well as casual styles, workout gear and swimwear, with an emphasis on workwear. Pretty much everything is customisable and cut to order. By which I mean, you can choose sleeve lengths and hem lengths, and they have a wide selection of fabrics, so you can get a style you like in heavier material for winter or lighter material for summer, for example. Even their swimwear is cup-sized, and you can mix and match tops and bottoms.

Their clothes are very high quality in materials and construction, which matters to me as I accidentally boil wash everything and my average day invariably involves a lot of physical activity (falling out of trees, scrubbing things, climbing medieval staircases, walking the dogs), no matter how I try to avoid it. Natural fibres are especially important to me; partly as synthetics don't last long, wash well, or (to my mind) look all that good, but mainly because I try not to have to wear polyester as it makes me overheat every time it's not actually snowing. :D My current-favourite outfit for going out is the wrap top in cobalt blue (although I usually wear a T shirt at home) and tapered skirt in black. They are both in very comfortable cotton and lycra jersey.

So, yes. That was a bit of an epic comment. Sorry about the length. :)

[darkemeralds]

I'm tall, too, and yes, the big-and-tall combination makes frills and lace risky territory. I think I found a couple of Holy Clothing items that will work for me, and I appreciate the warning about wear and care. I'm a fairly obsessive launderer, and will take extra care (assuming the jacket and skirt I ordered work for me at all).

I'm fascinated with Love Your Peaches, which I hadn't heard of before. (I'm so glad I made this post! Brilliant suggestions have been pouring in literally from around the world.) I'm looking through their catalog now and seeing several things that interest me--including the tapered skirt and the riding jacket.

I've been hearing about semi-custom on-demand clothing for a while now and it's a pretty impressive business model, isn't it? I do love living in the future.

You fall out of trees?

[kis]

I just read this out loud to Mr Kis because I so understand your experience and can completely sympathize with it. But Mr Kis said "But that's not true! She's very stylish."

:)

ETA: And I concur. Kept meaning to ask you where you got your clothes because they were just lovely.

[darkemeralds]

Really?

Really?

Wow. I'm just floored. Everything I wore while you were here was black polyester knit trousers and cheap-and-cheerful tops from The Avenue (the shop I mentioned in the original post). I felt really iffy about my appearance, and am so very grateful not to have seen any photos of myself from your visit.

I take great heart from your comment. I know that I don't see myself clearly--god knows you and I have had that conversation enough times--and I'm kind of excited right now by all the terrific suggestions people have made here about more stylish clothes and a more put-together look even at a large size.

Gah! What kind of design flaw makes this conundrum in my brain?

[darkemeralds]

On reflection, I realize that I looked long and hard for the cheap-and-cheerful blouses and jackets that are currently forming the core of my wardrobe. I did work at it.

I think I'm comparing the experience to when I was younger and quite a lot slimmer, AND my hair was the color of Morgana's, rather than the color of, you know, her hand-mirror.

Well, the choices available to a 5'10" size 16 brunette under 40, though limited by the market's prejudicial size 14 barrier, were nevertheless VAST. I was spoiled. Now I have to work harder to find clothes that look decent on me--something that I realize a whole lot of women have had to deal with all their lives. Boo-hoo, huh?

[lyr]

If it's any comfort, I remember you as looking pretty sharp, especially in that awesome coat.

[darkemeralds]

Aw, thanks! I should have more flashy clothes, I think! I've had a strong tendency to hide in unnoticeable attire as I've gotten older (and fatter), and while that has the effect of making me generally unremarked, when someone does notice me, I'm entirely unremarkable.

Might as well splash out on the brights. That poem about "when I am an old woman I shall wear purple" has a lot of truth in it.