darkemeralds. (Reply)

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I'm fairly certain that I personally gained a lot of weight because I had no inbuilt control that said to stop eating, and a very strong inbuilt control that said "OMG stave off the coming starvation! EAT ALL THE FOOD! QUICK!"

Coupled with a deeply held mystical belief that no extraordinary (read "unnatural") measures should be necessary for me to have a "natural" weight, this was a recipe for the exact degree of obesity I've managed to attain. But I would never say that I gained weight with conscious intent. I didn't do it "by accident," but I certainly didn't do it on purpose.

That said, I agree completely that I can't just remove old habits and not replace them. Extraordinary measures are required, and will be required the rest of my life if I don't want to be a fat person anymore. These weird days of shame and trauma-reenactments are certainly reminders to me of how easy it would be to go skittering back to food-land, and I want to be fully conscious both of the dangers and of the need for new safety strategies other than food.