Dressing Your Truth update

[darkemeralds]

On Tuesday I had the nicest compliment: a co-worker, a well-dressed young guy from India whose graceful manners make him a constant pleasure to work with, said, "I like your colors today. You have a very good dress sense."

(I was wearing a red skirt suit, a red-and-purple striped top, and purple tights. I mean, there were only two colors, but there was a lot of each of them. The compliment was, therefore, sort of surprising and deeply gratifying. Because I meant that outfit, but I'll admit it was eye-bending.)

Over the past several months my closet has become like a box of Crayolas.


Purple and yellow (aka fuck you, subtlety)

I've taken a "strict compliance" approach to Dressing Your Truth (because "strict" is generally a good descriptor for Type 4),


Sulfur and houndstooth--one of my few available prints and patterns to break up the huge color-blocks

and once I accepted the limitations on color¹, texture², design line³, and fabrication⁴, it's been amazing how brilliantly everything works together.


Apparently I like orange now

So yeah, nice outfits and all, but it's more than that, and there's a whole community of DYT-ers (mostly on Facebook) constantly trying to figure out and express what that "more" is.


Trenchant

For me, it's...

• bending "rules" of workplace, social milieu, city--even gender a little bit--to express something true about myself
• taking bits of style inspiration from across the Type 4 spectrum, from Adam Lambert to Anne Hathaway
• saying fuck you to age-based (and weight-based!) restrictions on clothes, hair and makeup
• feeling like it's okay to show myself to the world
• not being shocked to see a photograph of myself
• telegraphing clearly to the world what it can expect of me⁵

Accessories

Also? Packing for my next trip, whenever that might be, is going to be a breeze.


Waterproof

---

<sup>1. Black and white plus pure hues↩

2. Smooth--even shiny--firm and crisp.↩

3. Bold, straight, simple, clean, fitted↩

4. Structured, shaped, tailored ↩

5. Still, reflective, discriminating, demanding, logical, bold, and don't hug me, okay? So, basically, a Vulcan in really saturated colors.↩</sup>

Comments

[lamentables]

\colours/

You look exceptionally kick-ass in that last one!

[darkemeralds]

\colo[u]rs/ indeed! I'm really having fun. And I feel very sort of Emma Peel or something when I wear that blue raincoat. Emma Peel on a bike.

[ranunculus]

I agree. It is a GREAT photo, and you look wonderful in it.

[darkemeralds]

Thank you.

[ranunculus]

I really like the choices you are making. It seems to me that a "real" person is emerging, firmly stating who she is - and I really like that! I'll bet people are relating very differently to you these days.

[darkemeralds]

Thank you! And yes, that's exactly what's happening, and what the Dressing Your Truth system suggests will happen. It's not as if people didn't "take me seriously"--I'm generally the kind of person people do take seriously. But as I got older and tried to be more "age-appropriate" people would react first to the subdued, conservative clothes, hair and makeup, and then the real me would sort of shock them from behind that unintentional camouflage. What's so amazing to me is that I had no idea that that's what was happening.

Now what you see is pretty much what you get, and people can decide up front to take it or leave it. Everyone wins. It's pretty great.

[ranunculus]

Once in a while I think (for a few seconds) about going out and buying something besides jeans, Tee's, and Ex-Officio hiking shirts - oh, and hiking boots. Usually that is when I'm looking at my closet that has no "dress-up" clothes in it that weren't purchased 15 years ago. Three things slow me down: shopping takes time, most "dress" clothes don't fit at all, and clothes cost money. 99% of the time I'm far more willing to purchase another roll of fencing wire than that cute shirt!

[darkemeralds]

And yet, when I've met you, your "type" (if you will) has come shining through in exactly what you do wear. You've struck me from the outset as very much who you really are, not "toning it down" for people's comfort or "livening it up" to impress. As a result, I was very comfortable with you and nobody could have come across more lively.

And, as a side effect, I felt very accepted by you. That happens with self-accepting people. It's no small gift. So thank you.

[ranunculus]

You are quite welcome. I do try and accept everyone for whom they are. You were easy. ;)
I really -like- the fact that you post and put pictures up about the new choices you are making.

About 25 years ago I was living in a Mobile Home Park which was otherwise filled with nosy senior citizens. At the time I was single, and dating. I watched the curtains twitch. At some point I said: The heck with it, let them talk, I'm going to do what I'm going to do, and I have ever since. I'm comfy in my wardrobe and wouldn't change it at all, except for those nights I'm going out to a nice restraunt or the Symphony.

[ruric]

I love the colour palette and it really suits you.

That last picture is so very secret agent I-will-fuck-your-shit-up-if-you-mess-with-me awesome!

Now that I can reclaim my life a little I'm going to read up on DYT and last this spring will overhaul my wardrobe (once it's warm enough to tackle time spent in the attic) *G*

[darkemeralds]

Now that I can reclaim my life a little I'm going to read up on DYT

Really? Awesome, awesome, awesome! I can't wait!

secret agent I-will-fuck-your-shit-up-if-you-mess-with-me

Thank you! I love that description. What's so much fun about this is that I would always have basically fucked your shit up, but I'm no longer very concerned about hiding that fact.

[kis]

Looking good! Glad you're having so much fun with it.

[darkemeralds]

I was afraid the spending would never end (because of course I had to change out my wardrobe immediately), but it really took surprisingly little to reach equipoise with it. Now I just replace stuff that stops fitting.

You know how you'll have a cute garment, but it just doesn't go with anything? So you look at it in your closet and try to make it work, but it never really does? That doesn't happen anymore. Stuff goes with stuff in an endless variety and it's a really bad laundry day when I can't easily throw an outfit together.

And best of all? I don't care what anyone else thinks of my outfits. It's weird. And wonderful. Very freeing.

[hunningham]

Great. I went off to read more about drssing-your-truth and found your pinterest page - the type3 pictures are amazing and I've already fallen in love with a pair of boots - it might even be true love.

[darkemeralds]

Oh, excellent! I started collecting Type 3 images while shopping online for myself, because both of my sisters, my mother, and my best friend are all Type 3 and all have embraced the DYT concept. It helped me understand the types better, collecting images and looking at them in a group, and it seemed to help the T3s I'm surrounded by (who aren't naturally inclined to be that thorough, so yay for a T4 friend!).

Which boots? :D

[hunningham]

The Moroccan Kilim boots here - http://www.freepeople.co.uk/shoes-boots/moroccan-kilim-boot/

I've just ordered a pair, but I am NOT going to get excited unless they're a good fit, which is not so likely (sez the natural-born pessimist)

[darkemeralds]

Those boots! They're spectacular! Oooh, I hope they fit and work for you, because I love the idea of someone I know having them since I can't have them myself. They're delicious!

[hunningham]

I'll let you know what happens. But, even if these don't work, I will find a pair of kilm boots somewhere. My true & perfect match is out there somewhere. We are destined. It's in the stars. I know this.

[darkemeralds]

I like the way you think. :D

[pinesandmaples]

You do look crisp and put together.

[darkemeralds]

Thank you.

[shezan]

I know who you make me think of! Andrée Putnam. Look her pictures up = your style.

[darkemeralds]

Oh my, what an inspiring woman! I'd never heard of her, so thank you. Her design sensibility suits me, and yes, her personal style was certainly similar. I hope I'm sitting gracefully on floors in tailored suits when I'm in my 80s!

[darkemeralds]

I particularly like this, from the obituary in The Guardian: Putman's bold personal style was based on her imperfections ("Life is made of imperfections"). Her strong features, awry smile and modern dancer's gestures were theoretically all wrong for the camera, but she photographed superbly, like sculpture...

I certainly have no awry smile or dancer's gestures, and I definitely do not photograph superbly, but I greatly admire that approach to life.

[panisdead]

Whoooo, you look great! I'm glad you're having so much fun as well. (Granted, it's probably hard not to have fun when you look that awesome).

Coming back to comment on this, because my parents are visiting and my mom totally picked the DYT book out of my bookcase and was GLUED to it all afternoon. I didn't give it to her! This is not a point in time where I would do such a thing! But her randomly choosing it is, like, the best possible outcome.

[darkemeralds]

A) Thank you! And I really do feel awesome every day--well okay, MOST days--so it IS fun. I think I freak people out with my groovy old lady on a bike thing, and it just pleases me ridiculously.

B) How interesting that your mother picked out the DYT book. There is something so absolutely compelling about it for so many people. I can't remember if you and I discussed Carol Tuttle's latest book, The Child Whisperer, which is her energy profiling approach to parenting. Obviously, that's not a subject real near to my heart, but I've been through the whole book three times now, and it has given me fresh insights into my own upbringing as well as into the four Types. I recommend it (and I have acquired the audiobook, which I'm happy to share, if you're interested and if we haven't already had this conversation).

How's your Type 2-ness coming along?

[panisdead]

We didn't discuss The Child Whisperer, but I bought it as soon as it became available. I've read it, but plan to go back and reread to better absorb. I found it a bit overwhelming, frankly, as there are techniques I think could be very useful, but changing direction midstream with an 8-y-o is not necessarily a breeze.

Coming along! I feel comfortable with it. I went back and forth for a good while on subtype until, interestingly, The Child Whisperer, where it became immediately obvious to me that I'm a 2/3. Of course, that's the subtype I had completely ruled out prior. Of course. ::g::

[darkemeralds]

there are techniques I think could be very useful, but changing direction midstream with an 8-y-o is not necessarily a breeze.

It's hard for me to imagine that you haven't already done everything to nurture your son according to his nature, though.

2/3 is an interesting combination. I think I can see, from when we've met, that sturdy substrate. I feel like I'm a secondary 3 as well, but mostly it seems to add impatience with boredom to my Type 4 impatience with stupidity. But it does let me consider cable-knit sweaters...

[tehomet]

Awesome! You look fantastic. Especially love the attitude in the last shot with the blue coat - very Mrs Peel body language. :)

I think it's a form of artistic expression, too. Letting it flow. Artistically.

[darkemeralds]

Thank you. It's been enormously creative and fun, and shows no sign of becoming dull anytime soon.