My modern miracle

[darkemeralds]

During my long absence from this platform, I noticed, then was a bit bothered by, then was slowed down by, and finally (and rather suddenly) completely incapacitated by arthritis of the hip joints. I began managing symptoms with ibuprofen, then cannabis (yay cannabis), and gradually forgot what it was like to go to sleep at night without drugs.

Last year around this time I committed to an August writing retreat in France. I knew my travel activities would be limited, but what I didn't anticipate was the degree of pain I would suffer getting from an airport to a train to an underground. I could not have imagined needing an entire day and night immobile in a hotel room (in the heart of London! What a waste!) just to recover enough to walk even a few steps. I never envisioned myself needing wheelchair assistance in airports.

But I did.

And that's what it took to get me out of fantasy land. As soon as I got home, I interviewed a couple of orthopedic surgeons, magically chose the one who, it turns out, practices the advanced method of hip replacement that Misha Collins benefited from, and booked myself in.

The left hip was replaced on November 1. In to the surgery center at 6:30 a.m., home in my own bed by 2:30 that afternoon, back on my bike three weeks later. The surgeon came in as I was waking up from anesthesia and with the most pitying look on his face said, "I don't know how you stood it. Your bone spurs had bone spurs."

I have named that new joint Titania.

The right hip was my Christmas present, December 20. Same incredible method, same miraculous recovery.

I call that one T2.

Three weeks later I rode my bike to the clinic to turn in my excess opioids (and boy do they prescribe those things in abundance!), and I've been sleeping every night since without any chemical assistance.

The COBRA health insurance I've been lucky enough to carry since retirement six years ago though-I-had-to-refinance-my-mortgage-to-pay-the-premiums has paid off.

My time of significant disability was humbling and eye-opening. This second chance is so wonderful that even in the midst of pandemic, I'm taking joy in my ability to stand in the kitchen long enough to cook real food. Go down my front steps. Walk to the store. Get on and off my bike. Get in and out of my bathtub.

If we ever fly in airplanes again, I'm kind of looking forward to having Titania and T2 show up on the scanner.

Oh, and despite everything, the writing retreat in France was wonderful. And I got to see ravurian in London.

Comments

[rainkatt]

Ack! I’m glad that turned out so well!

[darkemeralds]

Thank you! It's bloody miraculous.

[cathexys]

Wow! It's great to hear from you and your double hip replacement sounds like it was a best case scenario. Awesome!!!

[darkemeralds]

Thank you. It really was. My physical therapist said she had never seen a recovery like mine--but that's because she'd never had a client with the new procedure. And that's because I lucked into the only guy in Oregon and Washington trained in that procedure.

Truly, luck and blessings all around.

[ravurian]

Hip hip! Replacement! (x2)

I still say you should have asked to retain your actual hip joints and made them into cane-handles or ornaments...

[darkemeralds]

LOL Gross no.

[tabaqui]

WOW. Just...wow.
That is *amazing*. What an incredible technique. I'm so very, very glad that you were able to do that!

:D

[executrix]

I am so glad to hear it. At its best, medicine does amazing things, and I'm so glad you could benefit.

[darkemeralds]

Especially this mechanical stuff. The drugs weren't bad either! But whoa Nelly I could see that slippery slope of seduction and had to force myself to turn in the leftover oxycodone.

[sasha_feather]

That's wonderful. I'm so happy you had success with your surgeries.

[darkemeralds]

Thank you. I feel extremely lucky.

[sffan]

Woo!!! I'm so glad your recovery was speedy and you are able to do the things you love again without pain.

[darkemeralds]

Thank you. It was kind of a "conversion experience," since I've never been much of a believer in modern western medicine. But damn, if it's a mechanical problem you have, go to the mechanics. I'm really glad I did.

[ranunculus]

I for one am very glad to hear from you. Extra glad that your hips are now functional again. I know my mother's knee and hip replacements were pretty miraculous and that was more than 20 years ago. Like you she didn't do anything till she was reduced to using the mattock instead of the shovel because it hurt too much to use the shovel...

[darkemeralds]

These debilities creep up. Mine did. We accommodate them, gradually change our lifestyles, slowly give things up one by one. And some of that is simply a fact of life and aging. But this mechanical repair was available to me, and this new procedure is quick and...well, I wouldn't say painless, but manageable. I'm grateful that it was available to me--AND that I had it done before this whole pandemic thing put paid to elective surgeries.

[ranunculus]

Yeah, I have one hand that doesn't work very well any more. Duptrin's Contracture. Eventually I may have surgery, but surgical intervention, while it does work in the short term, doesn't in the long term, the problem just comes right back. It is beginning to noticeably affect my hand strength and mobility on my left hand. Grrrrr.

[darkemeralds]

That's frustrating. I'm sorry the available procedure isn't a real "fix."

These titanium hip joints are supposed to last 30 years. Should be enough. :D

[ranunculus]

Sounds like about a "lifetime" to me! But then who knows what the future of medicine holds. Maybe next time they will just grow you a new one!

[darkemeralds]

Or print one.

[ranunculus]

I think they can print one now. Maybe not with the same DNA tho!!

[azurelunatic]

In the recent upgrades to treatment department, Rah posted a thing on that last night if you're not aware of the radiotherapy method. https://twitter.com/rahaeli/status/1241648314942136321

[lyr]

I am so glad to hear that the replacements went well and have helped so much! That's excellent.

[nanila]

Hello again! Nice to see you here. I'm glad the surgeries turned out so well for you, and I'm sorry you had to miss out on using some of your time this side of the pond in the optimal manner.

[darkemeralds]

Hi. Thank you. I look back on that trip now and have very mixed feelings. On the one hand, it was a big splurge that didn't play out as anyone would have hoped. On the other hand, who knows when I'll be able to travel like that or see those friends and places again?

And on the third hand, it was exactly the experience I needed to shake me up and into a whole new life. So, a net positive.

I hope you and yours are coping okay with the pandemic situation. It seems there is less-than-optimal leadership on both sides of the Atlantic.

[azurelunatic]

Congratulations on the fantastic cure! Hooray for advances in medicine.

[darkemeralds]

Thank you. Hooray indeed. The funny thing is, this is almost not-medicine. The way they get you in, put you out, cut you up, glue you back, and send you home is like engineering that simply benefits from the medical elements of pain control and infection prevention.

Western medicine has left "healing" far behind, but this kind of mechanical repair is where it's at its best, I think.

[lamentables]

Goodness, I'm glad to hear that your fix was so complete and effective. It's weird how we can slip into such a parlous state without recognising what's happening, isn't it.

[darkemeralds]

Yes! That process of gradual adaptation and acceptance is perfectly natural, of course, and there's nothing natural about these mechanical repairs. But when I look back at the mental and emotional energy that went into the slipping, I'm kind of amazed. I kept going and going along a road that had become an alley, then a tunnel, then a nightmarishly narrow tube before I finally accepted that it wasn't going to open out again.

Absolute desperation gave me the energy to seek the help that I knew was available. It was a painful lesson. But damn, I'm glad I learned it before this pandemic made elective surgery a non-starter.

[toft]

I'm so glad to hear that you were able to get that done and are doing so well.

[darkemeralds]

Thank you! Now that we're all kind of limited in what we can do, I'm super grateful to be able to take walks without pain (and also that I live within walking distance of my basic needs: a grocery store). For a while there, I was dependent on Lyft rides, and those are right out the door for now.

[tehomet]

OMG I'm so sorry you had to go through all of that... but genuinely that treatment is a serious improvement on the 'old' way, and I'm very happy you had such good results. May Titania and T2 (awesome names) take you far ♥

[darkemeralds]

Thank you! Lovely to hear from you. There's a certain irony (is that the word?) in having been cured of a crippling disability only to be tossed with the rest of the world into not being able to go anywhere.

On the (very definite) plus side, I can and do take daily walks now around my not-very-densely-populated city neighborhood, something I hadn't been able to do for several years. I'm seeing blocks and streets that I've never walked along before because I never had any "reason" to go that way before. Now my only "reason" is that I've got to get some exercise.