The Ink-Pot and the Palette

Personally, I think this is wonderful feedback and I'm not seeing any snark (trust me, I've seen very personal attacks and this isn't even the same zip code). That being said, from the feedback you're giving, she seems very new to the writing game. Not knowing her, I'm not sure your comments would put her off or not. Sometimes even gentle critiques and throw some folks for a loop.

I, however, would love to have your help! I may be knocking at your door one day!

Good luck, my friend.