The Ink-Pot and the Palette

Except for the part where dogs look up to humans and think they're the boss, and can be trained to voice commands and will accept a leash.

My dogs would laugh at this description but they are too busy eating half my supper while shedding on the couch. :D

I'll have to make my way out of the neighborhood by a more circuitous route, I think.

You are going to have to develop skills like a Ninja. :)