Short timer

[darkemeralds]

It’s lovely, it really is, to have absolutely no further career ambitions (or that nasty sense that I should be more ambitious). Absent those drives, it is VERY EASY not to give a fuck anymore.

When I say I don't give a fuck anymore, I don't mean that my work is bad. I still care very much about quality. It's more about quantity, really. "Do your job, but don't do too much of it," as Jennifer Marlowe once said in WKRP in Cincinnati.

God, it's such a relief to be free of all the authority issues, all the insecurity, all the FUD of the workplace. As the days tick by (159 of ‘em left) and any threat of punitive action recedes further, I become more relaxed. When I walk past the boss’s office with my lunch dishes I no longer really worry whether he’s thinking I spend too much time taking lunch breaks. If someone comes to my desk and catches me on Twitter or something, I sort of shrug inwardly.

("Punitive action?" you inquire. "What kind of place have you been working in?" It's not about the workplace, it's really about my dad. And it's not really about punishment, it's more about rejection. 'Nuff said.)

Mind you, those authority/guilt issues aren’t gone--not from my psyche--and I probably still need to work on them for my own peace of mind. But it is absolutely wonderful not having them foremost in my brain every second of the workday. I had no idea how pervasive they were till they started evaporating.

Comments

[ranunculus]

I --SO-- understand.

[darkemeralds]

It's a weird place to be, isn't it? As Wesley Crusher famously said, "I feel strange, but also good."

[tehomet]

Yes!

I kind of needed to read this post today, having just sent in my application for voluntary redundancy. :)

[darkemeralds]

Voluntary redundancy is where they buy you off and you go away with a sum of money, right? I have a couple of UK friends who've done that, but it's extremely uncommon here. Good luck! I'm looking forward to reading more about your plans.

[tehomet]

Yes, that's right. They work out how much cash to hand over by a statutory rate multiplied by the number of years I worked for them. Because I took three years off to look after my dad and then a further year off when they had no vacancy for me when I wanted to go back, it won't be much of a sum, but hey. Money isn't everything.

And thank you. :)

[darkemeralds]

As I'm discovering more and more clearly as retirement (with its accompanying fairly steep decrease in income) approaches: free time, freedom to think, freedom from the stress of incompatible work--all these are way more important than money, per se.

Mind you, it's easy to say that when there's a base of "enough"--even if "enough" is defined very modestly. Money is definitely everything when there's none. But it sounds like both of us will be getting by.