The Ink-Pot and the Palette

I really empathise with this. When I have a lot of stress in my life I go looking for things to get angry about. I watch stupid reality programmes and yell at the screen. I go troll hunting online. I am drawn in to stupid, pointless arguments and, as you say, become part of the problem. And all the while I'm eating carbs and sugar which literally feeds the outrage (and is a form of self-harming, when I think about it.

My counsellor has pointed out that this is a way of turning the anger against myself. It's not cathartic in the way that ranting to friends (my poor friends!), or writing feelings down, or going for a good stompy walk is. It becomes a vicious circle instead. And the next step from there is the dark place.

I'm working on noticing what's going on instead: when I get that urge I look at my feelings, and acknowledge them, and take a healthy option to deal with them. It's hard. But I know the other way just isn't going to help.

Wishing you all the love and support in the world, my dear.