Causualties of social distancing

[darkemeralds]

Are you noticing unexpected side effects of the lockdown? Setting aside for the moment the big, obvious ones, which have been coming at us all day after day, I'm beginning to wonder about subtler ones.

I made a new friend a few months ago. He was a listener of my podcast, and followed me on Twitter, where we had some back-and-forth. Back in November, between hip surgery 1 and hip surgery 2, he happened to be in town and asked if we could meet.

It was just one of those instant friendships. We sat over coffee and talked for hours. Next time he was in town, shortly after my second surgery, we did the same. In between, lots of messages flew--about writing, politics, LGBTQ issues, and culture. We quickly forged a thick, rich connection. A real friendship.

But he lives alone in an isolated situation, and struggles with anxiety at the best of times, which these times decidedly are not. The thick connection is thinning, not easily maintained via text. There's a very real sense that "we don't know each other well enough for that"—"that" being the little extra prying or persistence that an older and more tested friendship might permit.

It would be relatively easy to let the connection thin out to nothingness and drift away. After all, we've only known each other a few months. I hope that doesn't happen. But is there enough will on both sides to hang onto it?

I wonder how many new things, like seeds planted at the wrong moment, will fail to weather this strange time.

Comments

[twasadark]

New friends are awesome! (Not that old friends aren't). Why not suggest a zoom session with him? I've started doing more of those with friends - it really helps with the isolation. Or you could always send a quick message asking how he is doing.

[darkemeralds]

Zoom has been a help to me, too. I'm more comfortable using video with some people than with others, but I'm getting used to it. Zoom does have some very subtle filters that help buffer the experience of seeing one's old self "on TV" as it were!

[ranunculus]

And how many new conections become deeper and more meaningful because the pandemic allows for those nosy questions.

[darkemeralds]

That's an interesting question. I don't know yet whether the pandemic is changing my basic social boundaries and rules. Probably...but I'm so generally a loner that it's hard to tell.