darkemeralds: Photo of an empty room with caption "Imagine an Empty Room" (Empty Room)
[personal profile] darkemeralds
I quit making New Year's resolutions a lot of New Years ago--total recipe for failure, in my book--but given that this January 1 will also be the first day of the rest of my life in a more particular way than every other day of the world, I'm giving it some thought.

The thing that has given my life its structure more or less continuously since 1970 is suddenly going to drop away. My external motivation for getting up in the morning, grooming myself, wearing decent clothes, leaving my house, and (in recent years) getting exercise will be no more.

I don't yet have a clue what will replace it. In my limited experience of unemployment, the lack of structure is not my best friend. But the key word is "limited." Will a month of do-nothing nightowl-dom be enough for a more natural structure to start appearing? Two months? How could I know? I've never tried it.

What's more, the fact of having a job has been one of a very few connections I feel to "most people," a broad if rather shallow patch of common ground. Google Plus keeps reminding me to list my workplace in my profile, because without it, I'm only 80% complete.

So, what new scaffolding will I build to keep my life from dissolving into a puddle of undifferentiated time?

I have no idea yet. I should probably be terrified. Maybe I am terrified and I just don't know it. How does one feel at an event horizon?

(no subject)

29/12/13 18:03 (UTC)
ranunculus: (Default)
Posted by [personal profile] ranunculus
I had to -MAKE- myself accept invitations. Still do to some extent. In general the results were pleasant, and sometimes even really nice. I always kept clearly in mind that my fall back social action was to ask questions of whomever I was with, on the basis that people always like to talk about themselves. Works too.
The making eye contact thing is a challenge too. Some days it is easy, other days not so much. :)

(no subject)

29/12/13 18:05 (UTC)
ranunculus: (Default)
Posted by [personal profile] ranunculus
Oh, and I agree about the self isolating thing. Aaargh.

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darkemeralds: A round magical sigil of mysterious meaning, in bright colors with black outlines. A pen nib is suggested by the intersection of the cryptic forms. (Default)
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