What I learned in writing class today

[darkemeralds]

Narrative urgency: when your first sentence makes your reader want the second sentence, and your second sentence makes them want the third, and so on to the end.

It's brilliant, despite having been buried in THE MOST ANNOYING WRITING CLASS IN THE WORLD OMG, taught by an autodidact with pretensions of expertise because he writes a fairly prominent blog and has a novel coming out soon. And people like me sign up and pay good money to take his class. So, define "credentials", right? Anyway, someone who irritates me as much as this guy does probably has a lot to teach me.



He has assigned us grammar texts. I am already a crazed grammaring fascist--in more than one language. I don't play that game anymore. Oh, and he doesn't like capslock or slang or text speak or exclamation marks. It's like he's never heard of the internet.

Let me ask you this: would you speak to five strangers, for ten minutes each, about your passion for writing? No, me neither. But he assigned that as part of our homework for the week. So I said, "Not gonna happen" and he gave me shit about my "attitude" and I said, "What is this, junior high?" and I thought, Honey I'm twice your age (HOW CAN YOU NOT KNOW ABOUT THE INTERNET???@!?!?!?!!?) and was heading into "get off my lawn" territory in my mind when he said that all writing should be "funny and/or fun" and I started losing my shit for brand new reasons, because WTELF??

About an hour later someone in the class backed him into a corner on that patently absurd statement, and he expanded the meaning of "fun" to include, basically, whatever the fuck he wants it to mean in the moment--inspirational, uplifting, redemptive, instructive, meaningful, useful. So, all writing should be "funny and/or worth reading by some unknowable standard that you as the writer can only define for yourself."

You know, that advice actually...doesn't suck. Just smite me now.

He also told us to practice "jam-session" writing--freeform un-self-edited page-filling--for at least an hour every day this week. I got excited because, hey, I can do that.

Then he said we have to keep the vomiting focused on a single topic (of our choice), and we have to turn it in. So when I do a type-as-you-go shamanic journey to discover the key conflict in the Teen Wolf/Grimm crossover fic I'm currently working on, I guess he gets to see the resulting word-spew.

Oh well. It'll serve him right if I include knotting.

Comments

[lyr]

Definitely include the knotting. That'll learn him.

[darkemeralds]

Yeah! *nods firmly*

LOL

[executrix]

If you've read Stephen King's "Misery": also, "Can you, Paulie? Can you?" And if you haven't, as I recommended it to linaerys, it's not only a classic text about submitting (pun intended) to unreasonable editors, and about being a genre writer.

[darkemeralds]

I'm pretty sure I read Mistery Misery back in the long-ago when it was new and I was not yet a "genre writer". So on your recommendation I've just cashed in one of my Audible.com credits for the audiobook version read by Lindsay Crouse.

Happily, this instructor isn't an editor and makes no promises or threats of actually reading what we submit. It's a very odd writing class.

[darkemeralds]

Started listening to Misery last night. Real film actors--especially American ones--generally aren't very good at reading texts, and Lindsay Crouse is no exception, so it's a bit of a slog, but damn. King is so good I'm listening anyway.

[darkemeralds]

And a final return visit to this comment to let you know that I guess I never did read Misery before, and I'm loving it! I'm up to the "Can you? Did you?" part, and the whole discussion of believable versus fair in storytelling is absolutely fantastic. Very relevant to where I am in the story-writing process myself at the moment, too.

As always, I come away from Stephen King more impressed than with any other genre writer I can think of.

[executrix]

I have a lot of respect for him because, although he knows he isn't the single most blazingly talented writer in history, he is thoughtful about what he does, he tries to do better, he tries to give his readers full measure for their doorstop-purchasing dollar, and he tries to do new things.

[darkemeralds]

Perhaps not the most blazingly talented, but, if income is any measure, certainly one of the great masters of narrative urgency. I don't remember ever picking up a novel of his that didn't make me eager to turn the page and stay lost in the world there.

[ruric]

Is that 5 x 1hr on a different subject each time or 5 x 1 hr on the same subject?

I'm a huge fan of freeform writing - either onscreen or hand written into a book and I don't do it nearly as often as I should. I ought to make more time to do that again *G* The guy who taught an excellent class at my local adult education institute was keen on us doing it, even if only for 10-15 mins per day. He also had us do a umber of hilarious exercises in class. Must dig out my old notes for inspiration.

Oh well. It'll serve him right if I include knotting.

Sounds like a plan!

[darkemeralds]

It's at least an hour a day for the whole week on the same subject, as far as I can tell. He was non-specific as to the definition of "subject." But he did say that out of these truckloads of word-gravel we'd be picking out the nuggets of gold and forming them into a narrative, so.

I'd love to hear more about the hilarious exercises, if you do dig them out.

I like freeform writing too--but what I really like (I admit it) is being told I have to do it--that it's okay, that I'm supposed to. When I try to free-write on my own, all my self-editing and obsessiveness come in. Externally imposed strictures work very well for me.

(And in reality I would never write knotting, but I've gotta say I just read a fantastic and just OMG so explicit fic called Predator/Prey by Someone_Who_Isn't_Me, with this telling tag: "(do I need to warn for language when it's explicit underage vampire hooker fic with knotting?)". I don't actually know how your tastes run, but this surprised me with how engaging it was. Do read the warnings if in doubt.)

[executrix]

He was non-specific as to the definition of "subject."

Possibly a code word for "kneecaps."

[darkemeralds]

Yeah! My Shepherd Book reference was lost on that crowd.

[(Anonymous)]

Apparently Teen Wolf is the fandom which is leading me to all sort sof intersting places *G* Just read the summary for the one you liked and I';; be givig it a whirl.

AU's not usually my thing - though in TW I am stormng through them as fast as I can find them!

[darkemeralds]

I feel like the fandom hasn't quite ramped up to its full potential. Or maybe the fact that it's first and foremost a Tumblr fandom means it'll just never develop the quantity of long, excellent fic that the big fandoms of the last few years have done. There's a whole lot of fic-creating going on in gifsets and snippets and prompt-fills.

Maybe the long hiatus will give us more. Meanwhile, yeah: I'm reading AUs and RPS and all sorts of weird kink stuff that I'd normally avoid in a fandom until much, much later on in its life.

[cookiemom6067]

You thought you needed a writing class? YOU??

[darkemeralds]

Aw, that's terribly flattering, but have you noticed me writing anything in the last two years? Nope, because I have no self-discipline and a whole lot of bad self-talk. I thought taking a class might jog something loose, and I have to say, just signing up for it seemed to trigger a story inspiration.

Now my big issue is figuring out how to straddle the very bright line I've typically kept between my "real life" and my fandom life. This class is kind of forcing me out of the closet in that regard. It's a bit scary, and I think holding the teacher in a little bit of snarky contempt is the only thing letting me work on fanfic for the course.

Sigh. Do we ever grow up and just own who we are? IDK, IJDEK.

[cookiemom6067]

Do we ever grow up and just own who we are? IDK, IJDEK.

IDK either.

LOL

[donutsweeper]

ooh Grimm/Teen Wolf crossover. That could definitely be interesting.

And yes, you should definitely include knotting. Lots of knotting. Or really confuse the hell out of him and have a whole A/B/O dynamic bit.

[darkemeralds]

As I mentioned to ruric above, I've just finished reading a vampire AU fic in the Teen Wolf fandom, and for a long moment there, "A/B/O dynamic" was BLOOD TYPES OMG LOL.

I'm still uncertain about the Grimm crossover part. If I do commit that particular sin, I'll do it in a way that doesn't require knowledge of the Grimm-verse. Because this story is still really all about Stiles.

[donutsweeper]

*hee* blood types. If only it was that in more of the cases.

I think there is a lot of potential with Grimm x-over/fusions in Teen Wolf, but I think it could easily be done without a lot of Grimm knowledge. One sentence or two of background explanation would probably be all that was necessary.

[darkemeralds]

I think you're right.

Mostly, I found myself setting the story in Portland. Write what you know, etc. Once that happened, the Grimm part seemed inevitable. I could leave it out, but why? (Especially since it's gotten so good in its second season!)

[donutsweeper]

Writing what you know is *smart* I always wind up kicking myself because I tend to favor British fandoms and no matter how hard I try there is always some minor something that slips past me that's US vs UK. And Grimm really has gotten good, hasn't it? I only have the most minor quibbles this year.

[darkemeralds]

I could hardly believe the difference, frankly. I watched the first season solely for the local setting. It was painfully bad in places, and only Silas Weir Mitchell saved it. Then bam! Season 2 starts and I'm emotionally engaged, interested in the long-arc story, fascinated with the characters' ambiguities (especially Renard, hoo-whee), yelling at the screen and holding my breath, and just totally involved.

I love Juliette's amnesia. I love Nick's mom. I love Rosalee. Even the guest characters--my God, Mark Pellegrino was fantastic a couple of weeks ago!

I am so careful around British fandoms. I've lived in the UK and, as such, I might have a slightly better handle on the UK/US differences that can make or break a story, but I'd never post without a good harsh Brit-picking first.

Mind you, I read British writers in the Teen Wolf fandom a lot, and I gnash my teeth a bit over the lack of American-picking. The problem does go both ways.

[donutsweeper]

Oh the problem really does go both ways. Dean or Stiles in a jumper, for example, always cracks me up :)

I was SO surprised by Mark Pellegrino, he's one of those actors that's just been in so much I have some difficulties separating his various characters in my head, but he really did a great job and I love how his role jumpstepped Hank's view of everything and his resulting arc.

My only real complaint with the show is I want Rosalee back. I am nervous she'll be staying away and Monroe will be running the shop and then she'll sort of just.. disappear off the canvas.

[darkemeralds]

Ack! I hope you're wrong about Rosalee. They've made an effort to include her in these last two eps--to keep her character active in the story--so I really do hope they bring her back.

[donutsweeper]

*crosses fingers that you are right*

[nwhepcat]

This guy sounds totally douche-tastic. But your tale reminds me of 2 things:

One is my friend A's One Good Thing theory -- that if you've gotten one good thing from a class, you've gotten your money's worth, so you don't have to sweat it anymore. (It also expands to many other areas, such as museums.)

The other is something I learned taking a writing class many years ago. Writing classes are like weight lifting -- if you feel a great tearing pain, you should STOP NOW. It won't build character to slog on, it'll just hurt you. Only you can decide if there's great tearing pain involved, but I found it to be true the 2 times I've been in that situation. (The second time I ignored my own advice because I has been awarded an NEA-funded grant to take it, and I wasn't going to miss the chance to have that on my bio.)

[darkemeralds]

Thank you, thank you! One Good Thing has been a longstanding rule of mine, too, especially when my job has sent me to boring-ass training. And the concept of "narrative urgency," so simple and obvious and something I never thought of, has been worth the price of admission. I hate to say it, but I have to.

I mean! Any sentence that doesn't directly make you want to read the following one gets deleted or altered until it does. It's disciplined, it's demanding, and it's brilliant. Best editing tool I've ever heard of.

As to the weightlifting metaphor: excellent reminder. The assignment of speaking to strangers about our writing is painful--he said as much--and it's founded on two false and unexamined premises: one is that it's better to be an extravert than an introvert. The instructor claims to be introverted himself (we all had to cop to our Myers-Briggs types), and says that the effort of acting like an extravert made him a better writer. So the second false premise--typical of privilege everywhere--is that "being more like me," especially if it hurts, is the way to success for someone everyone else.

Well, Mitt, I've got news for ya, baby...

Thank you. I needed the reminder about what dangerous bullshit "no pain, no gain" really is. I had no intention of doing the assignment, but now I feel okay about that! :D

[tehomet]

Oh well. It'll serve him right if I include knotting.

*cackle* Indeed, it would!

[darkemeralds]

And to think, only a couple of short months ago, I had to go to Fanlore and, with trepidatious fingers, type in "knotting" to find out what the hell it means.

[karen_jk]

Um. That will be me, right about now.

But I've enjoyed reading this discussion!

[darkemeralds]

Ack! Proceed with caution.

This fandom, I swear...