What I learned in writing class today

[darkemeralds]

Narrative urgency: when your first sentence makes your reader want the second sentence, and your second sentence makes them want the third, and so on to the end.

It's brilliant, despite having been buried in THE MOST ANNOYING WRITING CLASS IN THE WORLD OMG, taught by an autodidact with pretensions of expertise because he writes a fairly prominent blog and has a novel coming out soon. And people like me sign up and pay good money to take his class. So, define "credentials", right? Anyway, someone who irritates me as much as this guy does probably has a lot to teach me.



He has assigned us grammar texts. I am already a crazed grammaring fascist--in more than one language. I don't play that game anymore. Oh, and he doesn't like capslock or slang or text speak or exclamation marks. It's like he's never heard of the internet.

Let me ask you this: would you speak to five strangers, for ten minutes each, about your passion for writing? No, me neither. But he assigned that as part of our homework for the week. So I said, "Not gonna happen" and he gave me shit about my "attitude" and I said, "What is this, junior high?" and I thought, Honey I'm twice your age (HOW CAN YOU NOT KNOW ABOUT THE INTERNET???@!?!?!?!!?) and was heading into "get off my lawn" territory in my mind when he said that all writing should be "funny and/or fun" and I started losing my shit for brand new reasons, because WTELF??

About an hour later someone in the class backed him into a corner on that patently absurd statement, and he expanded the meaning of "fun" to include, basically, whatever the fuck he wants it to mean in the moment--inspirational, uplifting, redemptive, instructive, meaningful, useful. So, all writing should be "funny and/or worth reading by some unknowable standard that you as the writer can only define for yourself."

You know, that advice actually...doesn't suck. Just smite me now.

He also told us to practice "jam-session" writing--freeform un-self-edited page-filling--for at least an hour every day this week. I got excited because, hey, I can do that.

Then he said we have to keep the vomiting focused on a single topic (of our choice), and we have to turn it in. So when I do a type-as-you-go shamanic journey to discover the key conflict in the Teen Wolf/Grimm crossover fic I'm currently working on, I guess he gets to see the resulting word-spew.

Oh well. It'll serve him right if I include knotting.

Comments

[darkemeralds]

As I mentioned to ruric above, I've just finished reading a vampire AU fic in the Teen Wolf fandom, and for a long moment there, "A/B/O dynamic" was BLOOD TYPES OMG LOL.

I'm still uncertain about the Grimm crossover part. If I do commit that particular sin, I'll do it in a way that doesn't require knowledge of the Grimm-verse. Because this story is still really all about Stiles.

[donutsweeper]

*hee* blood types. If only it was that in more of the cases.

I think there is a lot of potential with Grimm x-over/fusions in Teen Wolf, but I think it could easily be done without a lot of Grimm knowledge. One sentence or two of background explanation would probably be all that was necessary.

[darkemeralds]

I think you're right.

Mostly, I found myself setting the story in Portland. Write what you know, etc. Once that happened, the Grimm part seemed inevitable. I could leave it out, but why? (Especially since it's gotten so good in its second season!)

[donutsweeper]

Writing what you know is *smart* I always wind up kicking myself because I tend to favor British fandoms and no matter how hard I try there is always some minor something that slips past me that's US vs UK. And Grimm really has gotten good, hasn't it? I only have the most minor quibbles this year.

[darkemeralds]

I could hardly believe the difference, frankly. I watched the first season solely for the local setting. It was painfully bad in places, and only Silas Weir Mitchell saved it. Then bam! Season 2 starts and I'm emotionally engaged, interested in the long-arc story, fascinated with the characters' ambiguities (especially Renard, hoo-whee), yelling at the screen and holding my breath, and just totally involved.

I love Juliette's amnesia. I love Nick's mom. I love Rosalee. Even the guest characters--my God, Mark Pellegrino was fantastic a couple of weeks ago!

I am so careful around British fandoms. I've lived in the UK and, as such, I might have a slightly better handle on the UK/US differences that can make or break a story, but I'd never post without a good harsh Brit-picking first.

Mind you, I read British writers in the Teen Wolf fandom a lot, and I gnash my teeth a bit over the lack of American-picking. The problem does go both ways.

[donutsweeper]

Oh the problem really does go both ways. Dean or Stiles in a jumper, for example, always cracks me up :)

I was SO surprised by Mark Pellegrino, he's one of those actors that's just been in so much I have some difficulties separating his various characters in my head, but he really did a great job and I love how his role jumpstepped Hank's view of everything and his resulting arc.

My only real complaint with the show is I want Rosalee back. I am nervous she'll be staying away and Monroe will be running the shop and then she'll sort of just.. disappear off the canvas.

[darkemeralds]

Ack! I hope you're wrong about Rosalee. They've made an effort to include her in these last two eps--to keep her character active in the story--so I really do hope they bring her back.

[donutsweeper]

*crosses fingers that you are right*